The Passion of the Christ:

I drove up to Whittier last night so I could take Lessette and Greg to see The Matrix Revolutions on the IMAX, trying to make a habit of seeing things at the last possible moment. (I did the same with Shattered Glass, waited until the last night it was playing in all of California). When we finally got through the two hours of traffic, which is normally a 30 minute drive, we were told that IMAX was broken. I translated that to mean, "It's pouring rain and we're all tired so we're not running IMAX just so you three people can watch an ancient movie," which seemed much more likely.

So, instead, we saw The Passion of the Christ. I've been wanting to see it even back before Gibson got a studio to agree to release it, and it was rumored that it would never see the light of day, and that it wouldn't have subtitles. I've never read the bible and never cared to. I was raised a Quaker and went to Sunday school up until I was twelve or so I believe, but if you'd ask me to remember any of it I'd draw consecutive blanks until you gave up. I don't buy into Christianity and I'm not even sure that I believe Jesus existed at all. If he did, I'm sure if he was around today he'd be really pissed off at what man has done to his teachings.

Regardless of all that, I was excited to see it from the start, just because anyone as obviously crazy and fanatical as Mel Gibson could probably make one hell of a movie. Oh, yeah, and I suppose the promise of lots of gore, but not too much according to some interviews with Jim Caviezel, kinda made me want to see it as well.

So was it worth the wait? Have I been converted? Was it gorier than expected?

It was definitely worth the wait. The movie is beautifully shot and does feel a little bit holy all over, definitely in the beginning. Everything looks great and sounds great and I think the movie would have worked even better without subtitles. I'll agree with one reviewer who says that it seems like the subtitles just get in the way and the performances could communicate everything you would need to know. Many times you can catch yourself (if you have half a brain) understanding what they say even without looking at the subtitles. You can't understand a word they're saying but you know what they mean better than any English text could communicate to you.

It would take a lot more then what this movie presents to convert me. I think the movie focuses way too much on his torture, which is how it's talked about so that's to be expected, and not enough on his life. One reviewer complains that we don't get to see Jesus just being a man, human, like any of us, and that isn't the truth. In the opening scenes, which are the weakest of the movie due to bad supporting actors, we see Jesus tormented and praying, scared of his life, well aware of what is to come and definitely not ready for it in any way. That was all I needed to see that Jesus was indeed human, although with an incredibly high threshold for pain.

Which brings up the only possible problem with the movie... the gore. I read an interview with Jim Caviezel where he says they're very tasteful with the gore and they could have gone a lot further than they did. He said they whipped Jesus with a whip that has spikes in it, and toward the end he has flesh hanging loosely off his body, and they decided that would be too much to show in the movie... Well... They show it. Spike whips and all.

In a scene that goes on for what literally feels like forever we watch Jesus, chained to a post, get brutally whipped with rods by the Roman grunts as they laugh and mock him. Once the rods stop, they decide that wasn't nearly harsh enough, they bring out the whips with hooks. We, once again literally, see the chunks of flesh torn out of him. The final straw for just about everyone in the audience was when one soldier sinks a bat with nails into into Jesus' back and yank it out, with flesh tearing sound effect and spurt of blood and horrified grunt of pain.

This scene never ends. Or, at least, not when you want it to. I wont even get into the guards taunting Jesus and pounding the crown of thorns into his head. Or the hour (or so it seems) of Jesus carrying the cross and being whipped and knocked down until you're begging for them to just leave the poor guy alone. When Jesus is finally up in the air on the cross you almost want to breathe a sign of relief because you know it can't get any worse. (And then it does get worse for about ten horrifying seconds of blood spray).

After all of this, all three of us nonbelievers walked out of the theater unable to say anything. I didn't even feel it would be appropriate to make any sort of joke that came to mind. It was just too much. You can only watch such torture go on for so long until you become so shocked and horrified you can't help but wonder if the feeling you're experiencing is because you're scarred for life for having to watch that or if you had a religious experience of some kind. For all three of us, I think it was the scarring.

Also, I have to add, I don't think the movie is anti-Semitic as much as it is anti-Humanity. Sure, the Jews look to be the most obviously evil people in the entire world, but then one lone Jew helps Jesus carry his cross and is obviously remorseful, so that just make the villains the Roman soldiers who torture Jesus, (but not Pontius Pilate who is a good guy, hmm), and the Jewish Priests who are literally foaming at the mouth for Jesus to be crucified.

I think the movie is primarily anti-Humanity, since I came out of the movie not horrified at the actions of any particular group, but everyone over all. While the Jews are thirsting for the blood of Jesus, and the Romans are having a good time just ripping the flesh off of some poor vagrant, Jesus' own followers are standing by, idly watching and not doing a thing. Jesus had to have had enough followers at that point to make a difference, but I honestly don't know anything about it to judge. No one in this movie is safe, it's Jesus Vs. The World and that's all there is to it.

I wont say I came out of the movie hating the evil scourge spreading across the world called humanity more than I did before, but The Passion definitely reassures me that there is something very very wrong with our species.

Oh, and a warning for you all: Some stupid bitch cried out "THANK YOU JESUS!" at the exact moment that he dies and I think the entire theater wanted to kill her. I'm still violently angry that some moronic twat actually did that and destroyed the emotional peak of the film by causing the entire theater to collectively "SHHHHH!" If you speak once during this movie (loud enough for people around you to hear) and I find out about it, I will hunt you down and kill you myself. I'm not religious and I don't think you're shaming Christ when you're doing it, but you're being a moronic fucktard who deserves to die for ruining an excellent movie for the people around you.