There's this statement that keeps being tossed around, that while not really meaning anything to me, still bothers me. It's the idea that someone can become a part of your life that you will never be able to shake. Like, "Your mother gave birth to you and she will always be a part of your life." Or, "That child will always be a part of your life."
It angers me because it implies some sort of lack of control, like once something like this happens all options of "escape" disappear. Sort of like, "Since your mother gave birth to you, you will never be able to move away from her or block her phone calls." (Mom, I'm not using the mother analogy in reference to you, so don't get upset). Or, even, "You will never be able to get away from your family, or sister, or brother, etc."
It bothers me, as well, because when it is said, it implies as well that the world adheres to some sort of collective thought, where the deepest bonds in life are the people that you shared blood with in some way, and those bonds can never be broken. Now, sure, most world religions more than likely incorporate some form of that, so it's understandable, but to go as far to say it to someone as if it is some sort of thought that requires much respect... it bugs.
Like, a good reply to the above statements would be: "Actually, no, since I can save up some money and move away to some other country, or just a state, where you will never hear from me ever again. I assure you that I will probably eventually forget about you, as well, so you don't have to worry about me showing up some day years down the road crying about how sorry I am for leaving. On top of that, I'm not too concerned about the pain it would cause you in thinking that I would be so callous as to disregard your feelings and let mine take precedence."
The point is that no one is ever permanently a part of your life. People die. People disappear. People sometimes just fade from memory. No matter how significant you think you are to someone, you can be completely wrong. Just something important to remember to prevent heart break or pain.
This is just one of the few things I've been thinking about along the lines of people having trouble understanding other people. I'm not sure if it's hardest when you're younger or older, although I believe that at some point you learn to stop trying to understand and just accept instead of not caring and making a conflict arise by forcing your opinions on whoever it is that you don't understand.
When I'm driving home from somewhere or just not really thinking about anything, I try to put myself in odd situations as different people and see if I can figure out how they would solve them. (For some reason this sounds like a good writing exercise, just less details). Sometimes the thoughts these "other people" have are so out of sync with my own that it almost hurts my brain (easiest way to describe it).
I do it to try to better understand the people around me, so that I can avoid conflict with them by knowing what they might disagree with. Most of the time, no matter how hard I try, I can't understand why they would think a certain way, so I just give up and accept it as something that seems irrational to me. If I can justify their thoughts, then it gives me a clearer understanding, whether or not their thoughts seem completely irrational to me, or to what I would consider "logical thought" such "Cutting yourself would hurt," or, "killing someone is bad".
Sometimes my head just hurts really bad after trying to figure out someone I find particularly stupid. Usually, though, I come to understand the person much better than I ever thought before. When you figure out why they think what they do, then you know other things about their life, how they lived, etc. That way you can become a better person to them by catering to exactly what they'd like to think you are.
This is not to say you put on masks for other people, more than you stop doing a certain thing around them so they think more highly of them. You can't stop being yourself, since that would be considered pretty nasty, but you can stop doing things that would upset other people. I think this is the best thing you can do.
