I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m just kind of floating along, enjoying the view. Trying to survive, walk the planet, and get along. Or at least that’s what I think I’m out for. I’m not quite sure anymore.

I woke up three or so weeks ago with a terrible urge to listen to Nirvana. I’ve never liked Nirvana before, so I’m not sure why. Maybe the fact that I hate Courtney Love with such an incredible passion had something to do with my subconscious sending "Listen to Nirvana" messages to my brain. But you never know.

It’s freezing cold in here, let me turn off the ceiling fan. There, fan’s off. Thank god. Back to the task at hand… What is the meaning of life?

Wait… Was that the task? Maybe it was…

Bah. Anyway, why is it important? I seriously doubt the meaning of life will make you want to die, want to live, want to do anything out of the ordinary. It’s probably something simplistic that would upset a lot of people… Something like "Love".

Actually, love is possibly the only deep down logically simplistic "meaning of life" there is. Oh yes, try to come up with a one word meaning of life that is as understandable as love. Yeah. Thought so.

Think about it… The root of everything bad we ever do is, according to psychologists and whoever else all relates back to love. Either too much, not enough, or lack of it. In grade school you were a bully, that can be blamed on lack of love from parents. You got into a fit of rage and killed three people, all because your girlfriend slept with one of the guys you murdered.

Or so on and so on. Everything relates back to love, love has to be the meaning of life, because without it, we become horrible little beasts that run around murdering each other and causing sheer and total chaos.

Love is the root of everything that makes us humans, humans. There is no escaping it.

I tend to be rather trapped by love, shuffled into dark corners avoid it, or running around in the open like a chicken without a head. I’m either trying to avoid it, or welcome it, or pray for it.

Right now, I’m pretty happy with Sara. Sara is, as I’ve said (oddly enough) to three people, my grrrl. Don’t ask me why I spell ‘girl’ with three r’s, I just think it’s a thing she’d do.

Sara is cool, very cool, I think. I don’t know exactly why I dig her so much, I can’t put a finger on it, It’s just something that came out of nowhere. Well, Kind of.

I joined RPG Heaven sometime last year… I think last year. I’m not sure, yes, sometime last year I’m sure. All I knew was that the Parasite Eve page sucked ass, and so did most of the rest of the site. I told Travis (the webmaster) that and he quickly gave me the job of the Parasite Eve page, and off I went to work.

RPG Heaven was comprised of about three things, a FF7 Page, a main page, and a Parasite Eve page. Sara ran the FF7 page, which was horrible. (Sorry, Babez – Ed.) At the time I had no idea who the hell ran it, other than a name, "Sara". I’m not sure how it turned out, but Travis finally got around to telling me that I should talk to Sara and tell her I’m on staff and whatnot.

For some very odd reason, that I have yet to find out why, I wanted her before I ever even talked to her, or knew anything about her at all. It was like being in love with someone you’re going out on a blind date with, and not even knowing why, if that’s possible.

So, anyway, I get a hold of Sara on ICQ and we talk and exchange info and other stuff, I then I really wanted her, hah. Still not sure why either, but who knows. Anyway, unlike most guys, I don’t go out of my way to flirt, or at least subconsciously I do and don’t realize it.

Eventually I think we just kind of "slid" together, I mean, there was none of that "hey, will be with me?" shit. I hate that anyway. Anyway, I think we just ended up together, and never actually asked, it just happened.

At least that’s how I remember it happening, you ask Sara, she’ll give you answers, probably just about as clear as I am though so, good luck.

Anyway, here I am with Sara, as happy as can be, well, mostly. Hehe. It’d be nice if she’d move a tad closer to me, but hey, what do you want from the world?

Nothing is easy, never will be, you’ve got to fight, kill, crush, and destroy to get what you want out of life: Love.