I died on Friday the 13th, I apologize.

@ 2:01:45 AM By Stuy Parker

I'm going to Knotts' Scary Farm tonight, woohoo... and I'm leaving pretty soon, so there are going to be even less posts tonight. Oh well. Like any of you bafoons (?) care! Bwhahahaha.

For those of you wondering where the guestbook is.

@ 11:53:32 AM By Stuy Parker

A layout is a layout. You cannot do much with the basic form of a fully functional expandable web-based design. The reason I use the same basic layout in all my designs? Oh, because it works. It's not a lack of originality, it's not a lack of new ideas. It's because it's the best layout for my usage, that I can use to expell my creative semi-talent upon.

Insulting someone's layout is probably the stupidest and most misguided attempt at insulting anyone. Here, let me try, "Hey, you have your text in the middle of the screen, it's justified, and you have a tiny title at the top. Oh my god! You're ripping me (and everyone else) off! You dumb bitch, how dare you rip off my layout! Don't you believe in intellectual property?!"

Yeah, exactly. Now pull your head out of your ass and bow to me. There's no sense in insulting me, because I will always own you in the end. Just ask Dee! (Ha Ha! Just a joke! Come on, put that knife down, Dee!)

@ 12:01:19 PM By Stuy Parker

While I'm gone you can read the archives, and extended. Like good little sheep. Baaah. Baah. I'm gonna make sweaters out of you all some day, you realize that, right? My little sheepies--Sweaters! All of you! Bwhahaha!

@ 12:29:31 PM By Stuy Parker

Going over to susan's house, walking south down baxter street. Nothing hiding behind this picket fence. There's a crazy old woman smashing bottles on the sidewalk where her house burnt down two years ago. People say that back then she really wasn't that crazy.

Down by the donut prince a fifteen year old boy lies on the sidewalk with a bullet in his forehead. In a final act of indignity the paramedics take off all his clothes for the whole world to see while they put him in the bag. Meanwhile an old couple argues inside the queen bee, the sick fluorescent light shimmering on their skin.

@ 1:01:46 PM By Stuy Parker

I'm out for the day.

@ 2:11:08 PM By Stuy Parker

I noticed Stuy wasn't online and thought "hmm." Then I remembered that he is out tonight. With friends. This must be a big deal for him not to just leave AIM on with some message about entertaining ourselves or the depth of ketchup packets.

@ 9:36:17 PM By Alli Coe

The first half of this made me wonder why I didn't apply to Stanford as a freshman, and the second made me burst into a fit of laughter.

@ 9:54:13 PM By Alli Coe

Friday, October 13, 2000

It is almost 3 am and I'm still awake. Still dressed, in fact. I just finished a paper that wasn't complicated and only had to be 3 pages long. Thats not the point really. The point is I'm awake and online and it is almost 3 am and I have to get up at 8 am. All this for a lame paper which left me with more reason to vote no on something I was already going to vote no on (Prop 38). And now my neck hurts so maybe I'll just get into bed still dressed and sleep.

@ 2:45:35 AM By Alli Coe

Thursday, October 12, 2000

I'm moving to Canada before this system crashes.

@ 3:31:58 AM By Stuy Parker

Kid A is not an album to be played live. Mostly in the vocal aspect, poor Thom. He absolutely butchers National Anthem, probably Everything, too. Stick to the older tracks, live, boys. Kid A is not a live album. Is a beautiful album, none the less, which is growing on me again. All you nay-sayers can stick your finger in your ear.

@ 4:26:29 AM By Stuy Parker

It's amazing how much stuff would be lost forever if I lost my memory. Or my mind.

@ 10:32:05 PM By Stuy Parker

New extended. A Eff Stuy like entry, finally. Thankful I got myself back to that formula... Oh well, some of you might enjoy. Be sure to point of glaringly obvious mistakes that I didn't catch.

@ 11:55:22 PM By Stuy Parker

Wednesday, October 11, 2000

I had four classes today. My friend and I skipped the first to sort out her mid-mid-life crisis and I read a magazine through the whole second class. I payed attention in the third, but it was just film and we're watching Citizen Kane, and then left even though I had the same teacher for the third and fourth classes. I'm not always this apathetic about school, but sometimes I wonder how I've managed my cumulative 4.0.

@ 1:58:51 PM By Alli Coe

Oh. My. God. The scariest thing I have ever seen? A WinAmp banner inside AIM. What makes it the scariest thing? The tag line. "So powerful, it's #1" Sounds a little familiar... Fuckin' AOL, man.

@ 4:51:14 PM By Stuy Parker

I'm so screwed. Perhaps waiting until today to start my social policy paper that is due friday wasn't the best idea.

@ 5:22:26 PM By Alli Coe

"Professional" doesn't have to be synonymous with "dull."

@ 5:31:54 PM By Stuy Parker

What are you talking about, Stuy? Yes it does! (Okay, I don't know what he was talking about to begin with but does that really matter?)

@ 6:23:57 PM By Alli Coe

I am enjoying Nightmare on Wax's "Carboot Soul," yeah.

@ 10:23:37 PM By Stuy Parker

Tuesday, October 10, 2000

You can be such a bitch, when you want.

@ 1:03:42 AM By Stuy Parker

Wanna see what happens when my experimentation in photoshop goes terribly wrong? An arrogant, or conceited, statement right now would be, "My terribly wrong is actually better than your good, but I wont rub it in." Oh, wait, no... Not conceited or arrogant, it would be truthful! Ha ha ha!

@ 3:30:13 AM By Stuy Parker

If I started talking about how hot someone's Mom is, it'd be like if I said I wanted to bone Aimee Mann. Heck, the Mom thing would be even more grotesque and pathetic, in fact. So, you wont be seeing any of that here on ElectricBiscuit... I have never met a milf. No, wait... No, actually, never have. In southern california they're all old and, uh, motherly. Yeah. Motherly is the word. And sometimes short. (On an unrelated note: Hi, Dad! Woowoo! Now go back to your job like a good slave! You might get whipped!)

@ 11:16:59 AM By Stuy Parker

Yay! It's over. I never read the damn thing ever because I'm too good for blogs, and definately too good for silly spin offs that were probably shittier than the TV show they were based upon. Yes, I'm angry and bitter because I didn't win. I wasn't even invited. I actually am thinking of launching a boycott on little yellow different because I am the only true survivor in the blog scene. Oh, the abuse I take! If you were me, you'd probably break down and cry like a little girl, because no one is as strong as me. (I do not know where these posts are coming from. No, really.)

@ 11:22:04 AM By Stuy Parker

You wont be hearing me talk about how hot somone's mom is, but I have developed a mad crush on my english teacher (who is married and has two kids)...is that just as bad?

@ 12:02:30 PM By Alli Coe

"...but no one is starving here. it's called high metabolism. making a skinny joke is as easy as a fat joke-- people's bodies are different."

So, so true. I cannot even verbalize how much I understand and agree with that.

@ 1:40:43 PM By Alli Coe

Right on! Minus the "I love Manda," part. Ben Brown is a fuck!

@ 3:48:39 PM By Stuy Parker

Monday, October 09, 2000

The staff pages are coming along very nicely. They will be a treat for everyone to behold, and it should clear up a lot of questions. There's lots of naked pictures of me in them, too, just to make sure no one actually reads about me. Hard to read while you're running away from my oiled and naked body, right? Right. You know, if you oiled up my chest right now, it'd look like splashed good wet white paint all over me. I am that pale. Mmm. Sexy.

@ 12:39:09 AM By Stuy Parker

I'm watching Britney Spears perform on the MTV awards and I just saw one of the dancers reach over from behind her and grab her breast. That was great. Man, that guy got balls. Copping a feel on Spears. Gotta give him a hand. Mmm.

@ 2:38:45 AM By Stuy Parker

If I was gay I'd run a site that has a domain that is composed of two nouns, because anyone who runs a site that has a domain that is composed of two nouns is most certainly gay. Or, more likely, is a complete, utter, fucking social reject who should be shot in the head about three times just to make sure we get every single last brain cell good and dead. I am, or course, talking about no one in particular. Really. I'm sure it's not hard to guess the certain no one in particular, though.

@ 4:44:39 AM By Stuy Parker

There is something definately wrong with me. I'm downloading more Alan Parsons Project. I'm currently listening to "Eye in the Sky," and so far, definately not enjoying it as much as I Robot, but who knows, it might grow on me. And then you can all cast stones at me and call me a freak, or Jesus Christ, whatever comes first.

@ 11:34:52 AM By Stuy Parker

I bought gorgeous, expensive clothes this weekend and wore them to school today only to recieve no appreciation and minimal acknowledgement. No wonder no one likes this damn town. Just wait till I wear my argyle tights on wednesday.

@ 3:03:37 PM By Alli Coe

No, you're different. Your lack of perma-links will make you burn in the deepest and darkest pit of hell for all eternity, though. Yes, dark, because in Hell fire casts no light. It scares the children more.

@ 4:32:08 PM By Stuy Parker

Probably the most unexpected EB sighting so far.

@ 4:41:17 PM By Stuy Parker

New Winamp Generated Playlist. (MP3 list.)

@ 5:28:07 PM By Stuy Parker

I got an email from a electricbiscuitsucks@hushmail.com. It's a relatively nice email, it's very kind, in fact. I have never gotten such a nice email in my life. I'm sure you're all completely baffled and have your brows knitted in anticipation to be able to read this wonderful email, so here you go:

hey man, what's up?
This is the second time I've read your page....the last time, you had a different design...but the same content. I don't understand, why are you so negative? What are you trying to prove? ..and to who? If you're trying to get people to come to your page, then you got my attention. I'll be coming back to check out all of the really stupid and immature things that you have to say. Maybe you just need a girlfriend or physical activity (sports) or something.

In conclusion, YOU SUCK!

Why, thank you ElectricBiscuitSucks. Now, here is my reply:

> I don't understand, why are you so negative?

Being negative sells. People like to know they really aren't the only people who hate something, or aren't the only people who hate their current situation. Oh, and the bit of humor helps lighten up the place... Another thing is that I am willing to say some of the things other people wont. I've got the balls to trash popular icons on my page, it's what I do. Some people admire me for it, some people hate me for it. It's an aquired taste, I suppose?

> What are you trying to prove?

I don't have anything to prove. The only things I have to prove lie in my art and my design, and even then, I still don't have much to prove. The objective was to show my talent and the fact that I am getting better over time. That's what EB is all about, and I've already achived those goals.

Basically, nothing to prove in your sense. My negativity, and my bad-mouthing of people has nothing to do with some kind of over-all plan. I do it because that's what I do. I'm an angry, critical, hypocritical, and cruel kind of person. Sure, underneath the skin and with people I talk to, I'm not... But when it comes to something I dislike even the slightest, I can blow it up into some huge thing, because I enjoy it. And I put it on the web because "The unexamined life is not worth living."

> Maybe you just need a girlfriend or physical activity (sports)

I've got a girlfriend, and I induldge in more creative pursuits. Your mind lasts longer than your body, so which is more important to perfect in the end?

@ 11:39:45 PM By Stuy Parker

Is it just me or does "Stan" by Eminem start playing in anyone else's head when they read the email that person wrote?

@ 11:57:52 PM By Alli Coe

Sunday, October 08, 2000

Jakob is starting to look too much like Bob Dylan. The old and skinny, unattractive Bob, that is. Highly unattractive. Extremely unattractive. Skinny, too. Oh, did I mention unattractive? How about ugly?

@ 12:59:23 AM By Stuy Parker

I have discovered a new usage for my DSL connection. Downloading mass amounts of game music and remixes! The orchestrated version of the Zelda theme is amazing... It used to bring tears to my eyes while playing the Legend of Zelda. (Ocarnia of Time? Bleh.) Now I'm listening to the electronically semi-orchestrated version of the Super Metroid Theme of Samus... Incredible. That constant underlying bass loop that starts right after "The last metroid has been destroyed. The galaxy is at peace." is just... Wow.

Now I've got to find the Xenogears soundtrack, then my life will truely be completely complete. Mmm...

@ 4:42:49 AM By Stuy Parker

I cut the fuck out of my foot. Or, better yet, I cut the living fuck out of my foot. Our washing machine has a tendency to go crazy and start rumbling and moving across the floor. The kind of thing that made the furnace (furface?) scare the crap out of Kevin in Home Alone.

Welp, it was 12:15 when it started rumbling and I figured my parents were gone, going to go see Meet The Parents, because I was sure they told me 12:18 so it starts rumbling harder than I ever thought.

In my half-asleep nature I got up, ran down the hall, into the kitchen, hit my foot on something, tripped over the trash-can, over a cat, and into the doors of the area housing the washing machine and dryer. Opened the door, and pushed the button.

The first thing that came to mind was, "Oh fuck. My foot hurts like a bitch." as I looked down at my foot and saw this five inch long gash right down the middle of my foot. About a centimeter wide, swelling about an inch and a half off my foot, and, yes, five inches long with a slight curve at the end... I had a big bloody gash in my foot. Thank god it didn't start oozing blood.

It's really pretty, really. Appears that I cut the shit out of my foot on the metal pointing corner of the dishwasher and... Ow, it's starting to hurt like a bitch again. Arrrrgh.

@ 12:38:23 PM By Stuy Parker

I have great friends, too. Send me some sympathy.

@ 1:10:45 PM By Stuy Parker

My Christmas List. Any suggestions?

@ 1:56:43 PM By Stuy Parker

I like watching a movie I've seen several times, I still hearing lines that I never heard before. Like these lines from The Game that relate strongly to a conversation I had in real life a month ago. "Stranger things have happened." "Actually, no, they haven't."

@ 2:15:47 PM By Stuy Parker

Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall...

@ 3:58:22 PM By Stuy Parker

Has a friend ever told you that you should talk to someone because they're really cool? Thery think you'll hit it off and get along, and who knows, sparks could fly. You're skeptical, you don't figure it's going to happen. But, you go ahead, and you talk to them. And you find out they're probably the most original (and beautiful) person you have ever met in a long time.

I have.

@ 10:34:00 PM By Stuy Parker