I just finished watching In Dreams. My god, is Annette Bening horrible in the first half an hour of the film but finally gets good by her first inside-institution break down over her husband. And when I say horrible, I mean it, annoying and all... But genuinely creepy, and an amazingly good ending. Robert Downey Jr. plays a good pyscho. Probably because he was coked out of his mind.

@ 1:08:26 AM By Stuy Parker

My daddy is a dollar, I wrote it on a fence, my daddy is a dollar, not worth a hundred cents!

@ 1:10:11 AM By Stuy Parker

There are some fucking weirdos online

@ 2:11:20 AM By Stuy Parker

Misery has released a new wallpaper, titled 'lookinglasself,' check it out. Looks really nice... I love Misery.

@ 12:31:53 PM By Stuy Parker

Ahhh! Kristoff blogged us again over at san630, he emailed me about it, too. I think I just redesign too much, and that's the problem... I dunno, I'm trying to keep my design urges on a leash right now because I dig this design and it's super spiffy nice. Soo, hey, who really cares?

If I do a new design, I want to make it really super spiffy, so, that'll hold me off from making a new design for a while.

@ 12:57:12 PM By Stuy Parker

Oh my god, that scares me just looking at it. How can you stand it? Ahh! My rent's dumb poodle, ironicly named "Casper," attacks my friends when they came over. Gave an ex-girlfriend a scar on her ankle, and when Matt Salo came over he lunged for his crotch and started biting at his balls, it was hilarious. Then I kicked Casper's feet out from under him and he hit the floor like a ton of bricks, but it was funny when it happened, really.

@ 2:30:29 PM By Stuy Parker

No, no, no..I would have to say that Golden Crisp rocks my cereal world. You know..the "wholesome sweetened puffed wheat" I'm seriously addicted to this stuff. Is it wrong to have a love affair with a breakfast cereal? At least I'm not professing my love for the Sugar Bear, because that would probably be crossing the line.

@ 2:49:17 PM By Alli Coe

Hm, where did Stuy go? Oh well, I'm going out tonight and I'm going to try to be good. I've been way too bad lately despite my complete soberness.

@ 9:18:17 PM By Alli Coe

Friday, August 11, 2000

I had some fun tonight and had a ball with Photoshop. Way too much fun, I think, being that the psd of the image is about twenty megs. Anyway, it's an edit of a picture of Michelle Behennah (who seems to be my major inspiration right now, she's my muse?)... But, anyway, here's the original picture... And here is my big ass art edit. I hope you enjoy.

@ 12:11:32 AM By Stuy Parker

I love the greatest music. It's sad that the music I love the most is highly underappreciated and unknown. Take Skinny Puppy for instance, while infamous in their own right, they are remotely completely unknown, back in the late eighties they were making music that is still groundbreaking even today. They're superb, and I love them, and no one else does.

This has it's benefits, like not having to worry about a ton of stupid poseurs running around declaring how much they love Skinny Puppy but having no real conception of the true vision behind their work. Anyway, the earlier image (below) was inspired by Download's "The Eyes Of Stanley Pain" which is, of course, another unknown band (composed mostly of Skinny Puppy members for that album, too!) but, whatever.

@ 2:13:09 AM By Stuy Parker

I got even more inspired and decided to continue my Behennah edit picture... Anyway, here's the final version, titled "Broken Dreams" because no other words managed to fit quite right. Twenty-five layers in the finished version, over a hundred used throughout. Tons of fun, never done anything like this before. Obvious influence being Misery. Enjoy

@ 3:27:06 AM By Stuy Parker

I, as one, have felt burned that you don't blog me anymore, but I suppose getting five hundred and fifty views a day is enough for me. Sigh. Oh, woe is me. Jerwin doesn't love me any longer. I think he's just jealous because he's been stuck with the same design for, oh, forever now? Maybe Jerwin wants me to design an issue of 2xy!

No, wait, he doesn't, nevermind. [chokes like bill murray in rushmore]

@ 4:28:17 AM By Stuy Parker

Good morning, everybody.

@ 11:26:00 AM By Stuy Parker

I don't really exist

@ 11:33:10 AM By Stuy Parker

Grab It Fast has been posting a lot of drug related domains lately. Hmm. I wonder what this means. Hmm. Drug domains. Hmm. I smell something fishy. No, wait, that's just because I havent taken a shower in over twenty-four hours, sorry.

@ 11:35:44 AM By Stuy Parker

Okay, permalink buttons tell the time now, and the menu is actually complete... That should be all the tweaking needed, also it shouldn't fall apart for Netscape users now, just all the text formatting should. If it comes down to it I can always just make a plaintext version for netscape fans, or something... You small wimpy 12% of netscape users.

@ 12:07:48 PM By Stuy Parker

I was going to blog May's new design but decided not to, but then figured I'd comment on my urge to not comment on it, just to brighten her day because she never seems like a particularly exuberant kinda girl.

I'm really hungry too. I realize now that I am the only blogger who uses the word "fuck" extensively throughout his site. Why does no one else say "fuck" like me? Is everyone too polite? Is it bad netiquette to swear? Or maybe it's just those of us who don't get to, that say it so much.

@ 12:20:38 PM By Stuy Parker

I will not explode at Zahk. I will not explode at Zahk. One... two... three... four... fi--OH MY GOD MAN! Prettier female?! What's wrong with you!? Michelle Behennah is the most beautiful, gorgeous, yummy, delicious, angelic woman in the world! You cannot get prettier than her! Hmph! She is artwork, she is beauty, she is everything good in this world. Oh, yeah, and she's my muse, now. (I muse over my muse?)

@ 12:24:44 PM By Stuy Parker

Vision is so contorted, unable to see the truth through all the lies we've been fed. Force ourselves to argue a point when we don't know the source of our belief. Brainwashed by society to disqualify that which does not equal the greater whole, the whole that television has taught us is beautiful. Realize your own image, break past the bonds that have been slowly pulling you down, realize the true definition of beauty. Beauty isn't at all what you think it is.

@ 12:56:35 PM By Stuy Parker

Excellent point, Stuy. Traditional beauty can be so overrated and we rely on it too much at times. For a while I heard compliments about my outer beauty so often I began to wonder if that was all I had.

@ 1:37:06 PM By Alli Coe

Where's the beef? What kind of girl (er, guy) do you think I am!? [slap] Ehehheehahaha [runs of manicly with a bounce in his step] Err. I'm not fucked up, no, me? Never.

@ 4:04:15 PM By Stuy Parker

I can type, really.

@ 4:37:54 PM By Stuy Parker

Searching for Bobby Fischer is a good movie, just caught it. Very nicely shot, not beautiful but grungy in a real world sort of way. Very dark, too.

@ 6:24:37 PM By Stuy Parker

Andre suggested that because of how hard it is to tell who wrote what, that different colored icons would be neato to tell us apart. Still being tweaked and images should show up broken in the archives, but aside from that, very neato, yes? I think I'm gonna make mine a more green tint or leave it original. We need to see who wants to be what colour.

@ 6:35:59 PM By Stuy Parker

Okay, so I'm green. Ariel is ice blue. Johnny is orangish brown. Matt Sharp (who doesnt blog) gets the coolest of them all, grey. And last, but definately not least, Ana Cohen is dark red, for firey passion, which she is just chock full of that, man!

@ 6:53:03 PM By Stuy Parker

My peice is much better. It's transparent, glass, swirly and colorful and transparent and... Well. It's amazing! Just take my word for it, because I can't take any pictures.

@ 7:05:23 PM By Stuy Parker

Mmmmm...looks good to me.

@ 7:22:43 PM By Alli Coe

Before I forget I would like to thank Kian for being cool and talking to me last night while I was overwhelmed with boredom. I'd also like to thank The Academy...err..no sorry.

@ 7:42:34 PM By Alli Coe

I like the design of this blog. Visit her. She says she talked to me once but my memory is horrible and can't remember... Let me take more Ginkoba.

@ 7:56:48 PM By Stuy Parker

Important Press Release: Stuyvesant Parker, of ElectricBiscuit and many other blogs, has announced today at a press conference that he has decided to open his very own highschool. It's very spiffy and you can chew gum during class! Check it awt, dawg. Stuyvesant High School.

@ 8:05:17 PM By Stuy Parker

Dayna (formerly Julia Smith) pointed out on AIM that I've been signed on 23 hours and 4 mintues. Crazy.

@ 8:16:13 PM By Stuy Parker

"Yes, love's never lost," she said to me, but I replied to her that it is sometimes stolen.

@ 9:21:50 PM By Stuy Parker

YOU DIDN'T! You got Dandy Warhol's new cd before me! I have "...Come Down" and it's like... The greatest. Not to mention I'm a big Andy Warhol fan and I will be the first to tell you they have nothing in common but, you know, whatever. It's a pity the drummer dropped out... Wasn't it the drummer? Ahh.

Oh! My! God! I'm also Adored, finally. I was promised to be Adored like, three weeks ago, but never got adored. I was more hurt than I care to share. And, what the...? Dave Arquette? Jerwin lacks good taste in men, I will tell you that much right now. Christ. Ew. Ugh. 1-800-CALLATT my ass.

@ 9:31:40 PM By Stuy Parker

"Beauty is our enemy. There is no beauty, only ugliness. Ugliness is a form of genius." Damn, if only that was true. Woo. I would be a GENIUS! Woo!

@ 9:48:24 PM By Stuy Parker

Kian has the first part.
Kian: LOL, it's so funny how you said that. "You dont own those and you dont have any laser eyes"
Kian: so matter-of-fact
Afext: Well, erunm... who here is going to blog that? you should :P
Afext: I'm (we're) pathetic. Discussing who will blog the funny things we say.
Kian: haha. seriously
Afext: Who declares ownership!
Kian: *stands* I declare!
Afext: I'll give it to you
Afext: Okay cool, your dumb glasses anyway

@ 10:04:39 PM By Stuy Parker

Thursday, August 10, 2000

I installed Paint Shop Pro on a whim and let me say that was a big mistake. Gross. How can people use Paint Shop Pro? It's horrible. Photoshop whips it in every single aspect. Sigh.

@ 12:13:09 AM By Stuy Parker

You took the words right out of my mouth. Thanks, I was going to reply but didn't. But here is my reply to you fuckheads. Excuse me. I ran AIM Files on my site before you even began blogging, which were chatlogs of hilarious chats I had, so screw off, fucko. Thank you. AIM Files might make a reopening if a certain someone agrees to not harass my friends. We'll see.

@ 12:57:07 AM By Stuy Parker

Convo Tidbit Time:
I said: "I like flowers."
She said: "Flowers are pretty."
I said: "Yeah."
She said: "Lick my neck, you sexy love machine, you."

I was not going to disagree with her at that point. Anytime a woman brings up flowers my body and soul belongs to her. Sigh. I cannot resist a woman who thinks flowers are pretty, I simply cannot. (This was your fake conversation and inner dialog for the evening. Please continue on to the fake orgasm portion of this segment.)

@ 1:07:27 AM By Stuy Parker

Been there, done that, it got me nowhere. Actually I made friends with someone before he was one of the elite, or maybe he was already and I just didn't know it... hmm...well anyway, yes, I am friends with an internet rockstar. Well, maybe he isn't an internet rockstar but he does live with one and I love him for his mind not his connections. (Notice how I don't link to my friend and his rockstar roommate. You really should know who I'm talking about by now anyway.)

@ 1:14:59 AM By Alli Coe

I'm a better choice as a small rockstar. All Andrea is famous for is that fart picture where she looks like a disgruntled Bill Pullman. Damnit. Look at my design skills! I own every single one of those elite. Sigh. I should get even better and just hang out with the k10k crowd. Screw writing. I dont need these damn words. I have pretty pictures to keep me company.

@ 1:18:15 AM By Stuy Parker

Actually, she is also famous for her breasts. You really can't forget that...err..them?

@ 1:22:05 AM By Alli Coe

I've seen better breasts... On, oh yeah, your chest, Ariel.

@ 1:56:19 AM By Stuy Parker

I expect to wake up to a lot of praise in the morning. Oh, this reminds me to put the time in the PermaLink mousesover. Silly me. It's 2:46AM for those of you who are wondering... Enjoy, live long and prosper. Sweet dreams.

@ 2:48:23 AM By Stuy Parker

Aww! You make me blush! And, some more linky love to Adulation who commented on my design, too... Good morning everyone. Time for more design tweaking, now, ughness.

@ 11:10:02 AM By Stuy Parker

This kid wont quit. He doesn't understand a thing about design, and he's constantly asking about how I did some complex mouseover stuff or god knows what other tricks, but he has no talent at all. I explain that he should grow a little using normal html and I refuse to tell him how to do all this complex stuff he wont use appropriately anyway.

Now, he wont leave me alone, he expects me to explain to him online how to use FTP five minutes after I woke up. What the hell? No, I'm sorry pal, I'm not telling you how to do shit right now, you're annoying as fuck. Pay me, and maybe we'll see. God, real life people are bullshit. If you're in my life, and you're real, then stay offline because you're an idiot.

@ 11:15:56 AM By Stuy Parker

I said, "It's not hard to figure out, I self-taught myself everything when I was eleven." He countered, "You must be some kind of freak, though."

@ 11:18:55 AM By Stuy Parker

I finally updated the design archive. I hope Danielle is finally happy... Oh well, there you go people, if you missed past electricbiscuit designs (like the one from a few days ago that was excellent) you can check them out there.

@ 12:14:29 PM By Stuy Parker

Heyy every body. Ermm... Not much to say. Oh happy day, my eyes feel heavy. Like marbles.

@ 5:23:09 PM By Stuy Parker

Where did Stuy go? I'm bored and no one is online and I could complain some more but I won't.

@ 8:42:33 PM By Alli Coe

I'm feeling really full right now. Someone empty me out, please. I'm like a trashcan or something. Minus the banana peels and toiletpaper. Yeah.

@ 9:18:56 PM By Stuy Parker

Wednesday, August 09, 2000

[wet splop sound] Shit! My head fell off! Sigh. I knew this was going to happen. [scoops it off the floor with a spatula and splops it back on his shoulders] Stupid thing.

@ 12:00:48 AM By Stuy Parker

Changed the scrollbar a bit. I didnt like the fact that it was just plain white so now it has a very slight bevel and matches the rest of the design. Enjoy. Love and rockets.

@ 12:10:38 AM By Stuy Parker

By far the most bizarre guestbook entry in the world: "you are astonishing, you are godlike, you make me feel inferior and not alone and you make me cry." I think I know who wrote it, though...

@ 12:13:30 AM By Stuy Parker

When reading that Ben Brown entry, I figured I'd be the only person who'd know who Yves Montand is. He's crooning away right now, on the Rushmore soundtrack. Good stuff, this soundtrack is. Love is blind, and you're far too kind, don't ever let it show.

@ 12:20:18 AM By Stuy Parker

Ah ah! MichelleBehennah.net!!! I think I have died and gone to heaven. Officially this time. I'll write up a press release if you want me to prove it to you.

@ 1:06:40 AM By Stuy Parker

I am so not mass downloading over five hundred images of Michelle Behennah with GetRight. What makes you think that? I would never do that. I keep my obsessions in check! Mmmhmm!

@ 1:18:01 AM By Stuy Parker

Women this beautiful should not be allowed to exist unless they are all programmed to be in love with me, and more specifically only me and never in love with anyone else. Yes, in love, and not just willing to be shagged by me. Blah. I'm not that shallow. Mmm. Michelle.

@ 1:26:48 AM By Stuy Parker

I said, "Dude, you're fat."
He said, "More cushion for pushin," thrusting his hips.
I said, "No, dude, you're fat."

@ 1:42:59 AM By Stuy Parker

Already working on a new EB design. It's a lot different than the usual fare, very simplistic. I doubt it'll get used but maybe I'll put it up for a day or two just for a more artstic/beauty change. We'll see. Perhaps I should make like four designs and then have a Poll and then post them each week or two by order they were voted for... Hahah. I am a sick, sick little man.

@ 3:18:09 AM By Stuy Parker

Good morning. This is far too early for me.

@ 9:11:15 AM By Stuy Parker

Kisses on a summer day. Just you and I. I love that. Anyway, good morning. The phone keeps ringing and it is really bugging me. I mean who calls at 10:45 in the morning?

@ 10:47:40 AM By Alli Coe

I've talked to my ex-boyfriend's best friend twice in the past 24 hours. Weird. Is it a conflict of interests to hang out with him? On top of that he is married. That just adds to the complications of it all. And why is it that people always think of me when they are watching porn?

@ 11:46:20 AM By Alli Coe

I got a promotional cd-rom today from Levi's. When I tried to use it my computer froze and made disturbing noises that were painful to listen to. I blame it on the fact that the cd isn't round. Weird...it works on my Mac (though the computer is too slow to run the programs).

@ 1:28:48 PM By Alli Coe

Got back from the dentist. I have two cavities. You'd think I'd learn, but I'm drinking a can of Pepsi. Yum yum. I just can't resist.

@ 1:42:46 PM By Stuy Parker

You just have to brush your teeth after drinking the Pepsi, darling. (I've never had a cavity before. That is just how perfect I really am.)

@ 2:01:49 PM By Alli Coe

I went to the dermatologist, because I'm ugly and my skin doesnt agree with the horrible shape of my face. Anyway, she was some cute japanese chica, barely out of college I bet, pretty nice too. She immediately said she was going to put me on some pill acne treatment thing and then give me a cream to use every other day and... Uhm... Yeah.

Hopefully in FIVE FUCKING MONTHS I'll be somewhat zit free. Puh. I hate being younger than all you beautiful zit free online internet geeks.

@ 4:31:18 PM By Stuy Parker

Consumer Feedback Time! The next design might be... Serenity. Do you think this is a good design? Or is it not? Email me or Blog about it, please, I'd like an opinion... I'm still working on it but I'm wondering if people would like the change in style or not... Thank you for your time.

@ 4:36:07 PM By Stuy Parker

I am so loving Serenity I might just put it up against any nays... I love it. It's so pretty and tranquil. Serene, almost... Heheh... Ahh. I love Michelle Behennah too.

@ 5:50:27 PM By Stuy Parker

Only eight days and EB's 404 page has been hit nearly a thousand times. I think it's Google and it's archive of all the now non-existant porn pages lurking on EB... And then, Explodey and his former inability to fix his goddamn archives.

@ 5:55:36 PM By Stuy Parker

A little spider just fell into my keyboard. I hope he dies in there instead of coming up to eat me.

@ 6:19:33 PM By Alli Coe

Afext: Dont worry about being cute. In a few years I'll have to be used to you being normal and groggy when we wake up next to eachother in the morning. ha ha ha.

@ 6:24:38 PM By Alli Coe

Wow, I had no idea I could do this so well... It's loading faster every time I reload, which is very good, just the first load is hell. Also, the blog is looking superb and I don't think it's ever looked this nice... I'm very happy. Oh yeah, Michelle Behennah is, well, a goddess, so I can stare at this design forever and not grow tired.

I still have a lot to do. I need to do the menus and I want to expand upon the steps I'm making in this one and make the menus really nifty, maybe DHTML scroller boxes like the ones at lockjaw... We'll see what I can throw together. Until then, enjoy.

@ 8:33:44 PM By Stuy Parker

Cool. With standard windows appearance settings, and in 800x600, this design just barely fits inside the window maximized without a bottom scrollbar. I am that good folks, finely tuned to fit even those most untuned computer. It's going to be a glorious day.

@ 8:57:30 PM By Stuy Parker

I've been a bad person. I have a reason, just not a good one. I've become addicted once again to Diablo 2. I've been playing my Level 30 Barbarian gathering money for an amulet at dBay for a friend. I won, but now I have to wait. Anywho, that is my reason. It sucks don't it?

The design is real purty, Stuy. Really purty.

@ 9:42:55 PM By Johnny Hodges

Decided to ditch the scroller boxes, thus normal boxes. Only the current poll and the linky love, those being the most important. My head hurts too much right now to bother with the rest of them... Too much pixel by pixel positioning in CSS. Those boxes should totally fall apart in Netscape. I laugh at you weakling 14% of Netscape viewers! Ha Ha Ha! Look at me laugh!

@ 10:30:51 PM By Stuy Parker

Beautiful. Just beautiful. Who coulda thought so little code (Nearly under a page!) could generate such a beautiful design. All the other EB designs took up atleast over three pages of code. The biggest being 40.6k worth of code. This one is 6.38k of code. My god. A 100% change in beauty, a 85% change in size.

@ 10:38:21 PM By Stuy Parker

I can't even think of a word to describe how much I like the latest design but I'll try anyway. What a wonderful, beautiful, and inspiring design.

@ 11:01:40 PM By Alli Coe

Damn spiders.

@ 11:08:11 PM By Alli Coe

I've uploaded the pics that inspired this EB design: The Permalink icon, the main image, the header image. Also, there are more greenery pictures: One, and Two. Then, a more dirty coloured photo. And then, another big inspirational picture, the angelic pink photo.

Yum, how can one not adore Michelle Behennah? God, she is beauty.

@ 11:19:52 PM By Stuy Parker

Tuesday, August 08, 2000

I'm listening to Aimee Mann's Magnolia soundtrack... This CD is so beautiful, she has an awesome voice, great songwriter too... Oh well. Her cover of One will inspire me to this day.

@ 12:51:10 AM By Stuy Parker

This is called, Stuy Is Going To Hell:
Afext: I'll sell you.. uhmm..
Greg: lol
Afext: a bible?
Afext: will you take a bible?
Greg: LOL
Afext: $10
Afext: please
Greg: I'm not religious
Afext: they flare up really good quite a sight like fireworks

@ 1:37:11 AM By Stuy Parker

While I applaud you for seeing it (Fear and Loathing) I want to hate you for not jumping up and down like a mad (wo)man and ranting about how great you are and crafting your entire life and website and writing after it... God, man! What is wrong with you! The movie is perfect! The movie is life! FEAR AND LOATHING IS GOD IN MATERIAL FORM!

...Augh. Sorry. This was my "Lets rant and rave about a movie that doesn't make sense to the average idiotic joe, so it goes unappreciated by even people who do understand the movie but judge it too harshly because it actually is about nothing besides having a good time in Las Vegas like you can't have a good time anymore and it makes me teary eyed thinking about the good times I could have had drugged out of my mind with no thought thrown towards the hopeless by standers I am screaming and shaking my arms at like a little old japanese lady scared shitless by a huge scary polar bear."

Wait, what the fuck, where am I? Stupid pigfuckers. "Quick! Like a bunny!" (That's for you, Danielle.)

@ 1:53:18 AM By Stuy Parker

Two aaa mmmm and I think I will watch that movie. I have no life. (No time, no time.) "And you think, `What's going on? What's happening here?'"

@ 2:00:03 AM By Stuy Parker

"There's a... big machine in the sky... some kind of... electric snake... coming straight at us..."

@ 2:23:43 AM By Stuy Parker

My eyes darted open as the whiny jive talking of Paparoach's singer squealed "This.is.my.last.resort." and the heavy guitar hook slammed into being... I suppose I fell asleep with my stereo far too loud on Fear and Loathing and the movie ended and MTV began. Sigh. Anyway...

Papa Roach's (What the fuck does that mean?) the summary of everything wrong with "popular" music today. Shitty singer, guitars who lack talent, videos that are the perfect example of pure shit for this day and age. Their "Last Resort" video is to "Got The Life" as "To Legit to Quit" is to "Ice Ice Baby." Talentless filth for this generation. Sigh. It's five fucking AM what am I doing. Go back to sleep, Stuy.

@ 5:09:50 AM By Stuy Parker

I can say many things here. First idea being, "If you got it, flaunt it, honey." Second idea being, "When you have the ability, the tendency is to push it as far as you can." But I think I just gave you more linky love than you really need.

My IntelliMouse Explorer pampers me more. And, yes, I am here to remind you that I started the scrollbar fad in the Blogger community and you can all suck my dick. Oh, shit, sorry, that was my official Enimen moment. Yeah, fuck you, suck my dick, fag. That sort of thing, hope you don't mind. Specially with a name like "Spankier" you just begged for that sort of reaction.

BIG ASS FUCKING SPIDER! MY GOD! Jeezus! That was a big fucking spider! Out of the corner of my eye I spotted something crawling up my tower just inches from my face. The mind recoiled out of my ear before my head managed to catch up and slide it's way back around my poor grey matter. After watching it stick it's horrid semi-transparent legs all over my fucking speaker control box I managed to slam the portable phone into the side of the tower (Right above the DVD-Rom! Woo!) and kill the bitch! DIE SPIDER DIE! YEAH!

Sorry. Zahk blogged me but worded something so strange, "Never seems to amaze me." Er, okay, so I am not amazing enough for you? Do I not wow you? Fine, I see how it is. Course, you are amazed by how ugly Mcauly Caulkin is, so, whatever you want. He's dumping his wife, and did you see him in the Sonic Youth video a year or two ago? God he looks like someone beat him in the face with an ugly stick, and then he's stoned, and suffering from the biggest hangover known to man.

At five nineteen am, you speak only in vowels. What the fuck is up with all the fightclub references online? Excuse me, didn't that fad die like, right after the movie came out? I am Jack's overused regurgitated tired material. I am Jack's inabilty to get over how clever I am to reference to Fightclub so coyly showing what a big cool person I am. I am Jack's knowledge of the fact that Jack Is Not My Name. I am Jack's urge to kill it.

@ 5:25:54 AM By Stuy Parker

Apparently EB finally (legitimately, not my fake ass click click click lets crash torrez tirade I had that one day) hit 1,000 clicks on Power Bloggers. Hurrah! Break open the Champagne, but if you pour it all over that ugly bitch's tits, Dillion, I'm going to kill you. Or make fun of your immensely huge teeth! (I am Jack's hatred of Denise Richards.)

@ 5:41:12 AM By Stuy Parker

ElectricBiscuit: Got to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time... Have to admit it's getting better, it's getting better since you've been mine! (Getting so much better all the time!) (I am Jack's inflamed ego and pleasure with oneself told through Beatles lyrics.)

@ 5:47:07 AM By Stuy Parker

I think I'll go back to sleep now. Hope you don't mind, see you in the afternoon. I have shit to pick up, heh, later.

@ 5:52:09 AM By Stuy Parker

Wow, I'm on CompuServe at my friends' house in Hughesville, PA... How cool is this? Hey, Stuy... email me! I can check my email but I can't get on AIM, so like... yeah

everyone email me... I only get junk mail... it's so embarrassing... really...

well not really, but still.. I want email!

*Stuy... yum*

@ 10:03:22 AM By Ana Cohen

woo ha... im bizarre..

bye everyone!

@ 10:11:35 AM By Ana Cohen

Thank you Matt S. and Travis for waking me up at nine am, after I got only three or barely three hours of sleep. Thank you for getting me ready and having me take a shower. Thank you for waking me up and building me up and knocking me down. Thank you for leaving you stupid peices of shit. I will kill you.

@ 10:40:13 AM By Stuy Parker

I don't like the fact that I can not find pics of this self-proclaimed pale female. Mostly because I am a great advocate of the pale female and, oh yeah, lest your forget... I am a horny bastard! Sigh. I just need love... I get so little, ya know? *pokes Ana*

@ 10:55:51 AM By Stuy Parker

I'm going to sleep. I'm gonna... Sleep. Yes. Sleep is good. Catch you later.

@ 11:02:15 AM By Stuy Parker

Being awake sucks. Anyone wanna go back to sleep with me? Err... Yeah.

@ 2:14:14 PM By Stuy Parker

Important News Flash: KoRn, retarded backwards R and all, sucks huge donkey balls and should not have ever been allowed to purchase instruments. Because of this I am fully supporting the movement to regulate the output of instruments to only responsible artists who promise not to create mindless talentless filth of the types of Korn, Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit, and several other artists. Thank you. You may now go back to your regularly scheduled ElectricBiscuit.

Yes, but the Archive is horribly out of date. I need to take screenshots of about thirty designs. Sigh. I'll do that tonight maybe.

I am Jack's love of Cat Stevens, and I am also Jack's lust for Michelle Behennah. Mmm. I love her. I need to go through my collection and see if I have more unnamed pictures of her... Puh. Yummy. You have all now seen my dream woman, go forth, and make fun of me.

@ 2:32:44 PM By Stuy Parker

You didn't figure it out, you ripped me off. Sweet jesus man.

@ 4:45:19 PM By Stuy Parker

Ever want to read a seven page Eff Stuy entry? Well now it seems like you can. This is the chronicle of all the shit that went down saturday night. It's not as detailed as it should be but it is seven fucking pages long. The longest entry I've ever written. Please excuse typos and other errors. Thank you.

@ 7:16:32 PM By Stuy Parker

There are those of us who say "Ugh, school is starting." like we wont be able to be online quite as much as we do over summer. Then there are those of us who say "School is starting?" like it's nothing new, and nothing will change because nothing can change our usage. We are addicted. We are me.

@ 7:41:14 PM By Stuy Parker

According to Chris I'm an attractive and switched-on web diva. How cool is that? Its true...I love him because he is amazingly cool. If you were cool like Chirs I might love you as well.

@ 8:30:25 PM By Alli Coe

What the hell are Chirs and why do I have to be as cool as them for you to love me? Jeez. I need to look into these "Chirs" things. Is Chirs plural? I mean, is it called a "Chir" and where do I find myself a Chir? Are they like variations upon chairs that dont have pointy legs or something? (Hence, minus the A) and like, er... Uh... Hrm.

@ 10:23:20 PM By Stuy Parker

Damn, now I can't fix my typo. See Stuy doesn't have to be cool like Chris (not Chirs...I can't spell...sue me) for me to love him because I love him because he's Stuy and that is that. He is the exception. I would direct you all to be like Stuy as well, but you cannot possibly achieve that so what is the use in trying? (I think that all made sense...)

@ 10:33:38 PM By Alli Coe

I... er... I am so tired, so I wont bother writing any witty commentary. Just, er, Adulation, cool domain and all, blogged us. Hurrah, hurrah. Now I must make sure my head does not fall off my shoulders. Where's Wolvie when you need him?

@ 10:40:50 PM By Stuy Parker

"When your moon is fake, and your mermaids cry, do you ever believe you were stuck in the... sky? ... Do you believe, when you're high, that your life is tried? Don't you ever get stuck in the sky, Don't you ever get stuck in the sky... Don't ever get stuck in the sky, when you're high..." - Peep-hole, System of a Down. So fitting.

@ 11:25:23 PM By Stuy Parker

Met a girl, fell in love, glad as I can be... Met a girl, fell in love, glad as I can be... But I think all the time, Is she true to me? Because there's nothing in the world to stop me worrin' about that girl.

@ 11:50:08 PM By Stuy Parker

Monday, August 07, 2000

Okay, new eb design... Sorry for my bit of a mental break down, I wont do it again. Or maybe I will. You have to admit it was kinda exciting. Now is time to check to see how many sites posted about my little mental collapse... Oh well, love you all, be well. I like the fact that this design looks happy but in reality it's pretty disturbed like the stuff I wrote before...

It's all thats happening behind the scenes that you can't see (like the main jumbly background there are words there and they mean a lot) so... I don't know. It's a trip back to the original blogger design, keeping the width set and shit. The menus need tweaking but the rest is cool. Love you all.

@ 7:14:35 PM By Stuy Parker

I really have no life and as fun as today was I couldnt spend all day laying in bed like I planned. So, I thank you for blogging me Chris, you're cool cool cool. Hope the design makes up for the shock. ;)

I'd check what marq wrote about me in his blog but he closed his site too with a reference to "God" I wont comment because I don't want any hard feelings and my religious beliefs don't need to be brought into this.

And, er, I suppose... Uh, yeah, thanks... I guess. Good to know a black screen and white default text can still wow an audience. Guess you just have to have the Stuyvesant Touch (tm)

@ 8:10:01 PM By Stuy Parker

I'm glad to have my darling Stuy back. The design looks great and I think it reflects us well. Its kinda cool that Stuy has a documented mental breakdown now. I'm now off to solve all the world's problems by eating chocolate ice cream.

@ 8:34:20 PM By Alli Coe

I haven't listened to music since I shut down EB last night. I even turned off my speaker system completely which was very strange, I wanted silence... Anyway, must need music now. Big problem. What to listen to?

Do I go for a good smooth classic stolen Cat Stevens album, or the loud rock of Eve 6... The pounding and screaming of Skinny Puppy, or the acoustronic wailing of Radiohead... The smooth beats of Fight Club or the rough gyrating tones of The Chemical Brothers... Sigh. The world may never know. (That was my responsible blogging for the evening. Also, my choice rhymes with Hat.)

@ 8:55:12 PM By Stuy Parker

I do find it puzzling that someone got to EB from a shirt. But, I find it even more puzzling that someone would pay fifty-eight dollars for a fucking t-shirt! Christ, slaves to society we are.

@ 9:32:11 PM By Stuy Parker

If you can't dig it, you're not worth my time. Yes, I mean it. Mmmm.

@ 9:36:44 PM By Stuy Parker

After stressing how horrible my yearbook picture is, and how it is so terrible, how I look like a retarded emaciated monkey, how my hair is stringy, flat and horrible... After all that, I am told "You look like that right now!" ...Yeah, well, fuck you, too.

@ 9:47:38 PM By Stuy Parker

I wanna watch you clean! I like watching people clean.

@ 11:03:41 PM By Johnny Hodges

I'm browsing Lolita and underage child porn sites (!), because a friend of mine is into it and, well, it's rather funny. These sites are masquerading as art and shit, saying that it's purely legal and it's not sexually explicit... but these sites are designed like porn sites, but the words are different, explaining the beauty and innocence and why people admire photography of this nature. Except the design and poses are straight out of softcore porn.

God, sometimes humanity is really pathetic, and it baffles me, but, whatever... Twist the law to your own likes, go ahead, I wont get in your way. Now my friend is going down for credit card fraud in order to get some wank material that is his own age... Go figure. Life goes on, love the time you live. I guess.

@ 11:18:34 PM By Stuy Parker

Sarah and I, Sarah being Sarah over at Spork.nu, had a very very, uh, enlightening conversation. Yeah, really, talk about making me feel so much better about myself to have some half-wit hack insult me and say that "Blah" design is going to aid her and her pal in "taking over the world" ...mmhmm. As I said, I think I'd have better chances.

Poor people in this world, you make me wish I could cry for you.

@ 11:57:14 PM By Stuy Parker

Sunday, August 06, 2000

There's a referral in my logs that is: file:///C|/Alli/website!/iconoclast/v7/etc.htm ... Whoever you are, you're strange, but probably cute if you look anything like EB's resident Alli ;)

@ 12:03:39 AM By Stuy Parker

Stuy is correct, he is a very good man. In fact, more men should be like him. I might be inclined to want to marry him solely based on that, but I've stopped promising marriage to unknown men solely based on their sexual preferences because it just doesn't work out.

@ 12:12:23 AM By Alli Coe

I am hungry to the point where I'm getting that sick feeling. Ugh, brb.

@ 12:26:41 AM By Stuy Parker

Good morning

@ 10:05:04 AM By Stuy Parker

Greatest movie ever made. Next to "The Adventures of Milo and Otis" of course.

@ 10:19:20 AM By Stuy Parker

On the internet, even riothero isn't sexy. I feel a little more comfortable in my looks.

@ 10:29:54 AM By Stuy Parker

Deepleap just gets more and more useful everyday. You can spy on my notes, too! *hint, hint*

@ 10:32:34 AM By Stuy Parker

I drooled on myself as I read "my shit smells like a closet full of dead rats." ... Is there something wrong with me?

@ 11:25:47 AM By Stuy Parker

Oh my god. I'm not one to get off on toilet humor. I find fart jokes and shit lame, but... Oh god, I'm finally catching up on my Brad Pitt, and I have never laughed harder in my life. I busted up like five times and my stomach started to throb with pain... My...god...oh...

@ 11:57:48 AM By Stuy Parker

I love this guy. My dick is bigger than his, too! God bless!

@ 12:11:34 PM By Stuy Parker

My puppy had kittens and my kitten had puppies. My hampster had cows and my cow had hampsters. My lizard had a nutra rat and well, the nutra rat ate the lizzard. I have to much time on my hands today.

@ 2:42:53 PM By Johnny Hodges

Give me a pen, some paper, too much time, and I'm dangerous. No, actually, I can't draw worth a shit and here I am to pour out my inability to draw to everyone. Enjoy.

@ 2:53:00 PM By Stuy Parker

I am apologizing for an earlier post directed towards Geek Grrl dot Log's webmaster and the website in general. I'm not deleting it though, and now I am sending you more linky love you silly girl. Now shut up. Thanks. [eg] You do smoke parsley, still, dont you? You really ought to kick the habit. But, whatever you're into, I'm cool with that. Go check her and her wonderful loggy of blog love... Now. And she is HELLA CUTE! Dig it! Dig it hardcore! Dig dig dig! Yum yum! Blue! Blue Blue Blue! ...

Oops, I did it again.

@ 2:58:08 PM By Stuy Parker

Ylove

@ 3:02:46 PM By Stuy Parker

Hot Pockets are good. I like the boxes that have 12 individually wrapped ones. Mmm...Hot pockets....

@ 3:55:36 PM By Johnny Hodges

HUGGBEES!

@ 4:23:23 PM By Johnny Hodges

Based on the last few posts I'm going to guess that you have both lost your minds. But we already knew that, didn't we?

@ 5:15:22 PM By Alli Coe

You know how to make a guy feel loved, you know. Jeez. See if I ever do anything for you ever again. Oh, those two sites under the pe subdomain of yours, what the fuck are you doing with them? Heh.

@ 8:03:00 PM By Stuy Parker

God I hate people.

@ 8:24:56 PM By Stuy Parker

I feel the need to install some Quake/2/3 and kick some ass. Must. Kill. Must. Release. Agression. Sigh. Today was really shitty. I dream for tomorrow and exactly what it should bring, but I have a bad feeling I'll be let down.

@ 8:41:27 PM By Stuy Parker

I went and cleaned up EB's email accounts a bit, I deleted someones account who was (apparently) still using it and then I started to get mail from... Well, a mailing list I never subbed to, and then a mailing list I unsubbed from a long while ago. I was puzzled, but eventually figured out that email that doesnt have a specific place to go on EB goes to me, stupid thing. Why doesnt it tell the sender that the account is no longer active? I wont ever know.

Now, though, the email addresses I deleted forward to hot2k1i23n4k5ysex@hotmail.com, so they're sure to bounce. Oh well, no skin off my back. Anyone want a nice ElectricBiscuit.com POP3 email account? Hehehe... Can make forwarders too... But, whatever, no one loves me.

@ 8:57:26 PM By Stuy Parker

I need my ego reinstated. Sigh. God, this world can sure pick a day to beat you down... I feel like shit. I need a hug, someone hug me? Please?

@ 9:01:04 PM By Stuy Parker

Some people think EB is porn. My mom opened up IE(she normally uses Netscape but she said it wasn't working right) and before I got off I had changed my homepage from some other site to EB. So my mom sees this thinking she would get a "normal" homepage. So now she thinks EB is related to porn. Don't ask me how she gets porn from only a handful of words randomly selected. I have a weird mother, so narrowminded she doesn't bother to understand me, but only herself. Bah, sometimes I thinks she wants me to be someone I'm not and will never be. If you can't tell, I don't like my mom much.

@ 10:02:28 PM By Johnny Hodges