I always wanted to be naked and in a garden.

@ 12:02:09 AM By Alli Coe

With me, naked with you. Sweaty. Our bodies intertwined. Oh, shit, sorry, where is my mind again? I keep... losing it. Pretty soon it's gonna be in my fucking toe if it keeps dropping. Mmm... garden... sweaty...twined... movement... images...color...mm... Ah, fuck! I am one horny little bitch.

@ 12:04:41 AM By Stuy Parker

Somehow I could see you as the snake and not Adam, but thats just me. Also, it isn't just your horniness, it is my power over you as a sexy woman (with a webcam..and happy breasts). Can we blame you? I think not.

@ 12:08:10 AM By Alli Coe

Me? A snake? ...I didn't know you were into that sort of thing... But, you know, I'm always willing to try new things with you?

@ 12:09:45 AM By Stuy Parker

Oh yeah, I'm big into those reptile fetishes. Actually, a snake can be a symbol for male genitalia, so....

@ 12:12:29 AM By Alli Coe

mm... snake... ohh... apple... mmmmm.... ahh.... alli...m...happy breasts...mm.. ssss..sssssss...

@ 12:14:42 AM By Stuy Parker

And on that note I'm off to my cozy bed. Sweet dreams, Stuy darling.

@ 12:16:28 AM By Alli Coe

Interesting Stuy Convo Tidbits: "so even though I know I whipped to my best of my ability my ass wont unclinch." "what is it, like excersizes?"

@ 12:31:28 AM By Stuy Parker

This review of Wild Things proves that Salon has idiots working for them. I swear, that movie was probably the biggest let down, horribly filmed, horrible acted, peice of shit since... Oh yeah, Scream! And not seeing Neve's chest after it was so rightfully promised in the script... I can't fathom anyone wanting to see this movie again? Gag me. Please.

Denise Richards has a huge nasty square mouth too, she's ugly. There goes that reason to see the movie too. Huge nasty breasts suck, too. Now, there goes half of my audience.

@ 1:18:16 AM By Stuy Parker

Pink-Elephant's amazing, fantastic, magical, splendiferous weblog of joy: I'd ask why, but I don't suppose I'd get an answer. Or, I'd ask why, but I suppose that would ruin this magic moment. Or, I'd ask why, but I don't think I really want to know. Or, I'd ask why, but I don't have the brain power to comphrehend what this infernal machine wants to tell me. Or, I'd ask why, but I don't know how to speak elephant. Or, I'd ask why, but with a pink elephant in your mouth you talk only in vowels. Or, I'd ask why, but I suppose Jerwin is behind it somehow. Or, I'd ask why, but I think I already know. Or, Where the fuck is Sharon, Lois, and Bram?

That show was fucking classic. I was four when they canceled it but I remember it like I grew up watching it... It was a great show, and it was how kids should grow up these days. None of this teletubbie bullshit... Give our kids wholesome Mister Rogers' Neighbourhood and Sharon Lois and Bram's Elephant Show... Give our children the former quality of Shining Time Station and Reading Rainbow... Please! Brainwash our children with filth no longer! I want my children to grow up how I grew up... With great shows like those!

*sigh* Pipe dreams, Mr. Conductor. Pipe dreams.

@ 2:03:41 AM By Stuy Parker

Everyone loves a good bang in the face! That's probably the funniest thing anyone has said about EB... Because of the lack of permalinks I'll quote him here: "And then there's: yum yum biscuits are good for you. which bangs you in the face! But that's good." ... I had no idea that little stupid fake boring description I typed in while I was off my rocker would bring me such linkylove.

Not to mention that site's design kicks a bit of ass. Just the pixel-painted look, it's dope... I'd like to do some form of interactivity like that for EB sometime. Actually, I'd do "Pick your design" but I know that everyone would pick Design Nine or something. Pigs!

@ 10:57:52 AM By Stuy Parker

She tells me she smokes parsley to get high. I think she's a little messed up, but she's the epitome of what a one-liner blog should be. (What every blog shouldn't be. No offense, May.)

@ 11:07:21 AM By Stuy Parker

Yes! Ban Porn Now!! God, I hate that filth! And ban oral sex too! Give us prison terms for wanting to please our significant others! Yes! Yes! I demand that this happens! Such filth should not exist online or anywhere in the world! Ban Porn Now! (I have two cats! What the fuck did he tell us that for? Does he... No, nevermind.)

@ 12:25:33 PM By Stuy Parker

Hey! It's Kid Rock! (Aka: Big, blonde, egotistical, ugly dumb shit.)

@ 12:30:29 PM By Stuy Parker

Actually oral sex is illegal in some states. I couldn't tell you which ones, but I remember hearing in my human sexuality class about some guy being taken to jail for pleasuring his wife. How did they find this out you may wonder.... Well, some kids were being nosey and looked in their window. In my opinion the kids should get in trouble and the man should be rewarded.

@ 12:57:10 PM By Alli Coe

Most people would stop reading when their gut starts to hurt from too much laughing, but I was always the masochist, and I cannot stop reading fishsoup. Damn you Gracie! Damn you! I have an ulcer now!

@ 1:20:13 PM By Stuy Parker

Foresight is so often blind...

@ 1:53:35 PM By Stuy Parker

Interesting Stuy Convo Tidbits: "I'd give you mine, but I have a pack-rat mentality that tells me I need to keep it because one day I might become a prodigy and I wouldn't want to be quite so Twilight Zone-ish and not have it when I realize my true ability."

@ 2:48:34 PM By Stuy Parker

No So Common Knowledge: Ben Brown is cuter in drawings. Don't let him fool you. His legs are really hairy, thats why all his drawings have him in pants. The truth comes out. [waits for ben brown to completely ignore him] Ah, okay, all better.

@ 2:51:07 PM By Stuy Parker

Were you checking Ben out, Stuy?

@ 5:44:46 PM By Alli Coe

People on the Discovery Channel who had near death experiences were saying that they aren't afraid to die and that it is a pleasant thing. What if God is just playing with our minds and having those people have those experiences and then come back to life to reassure us about death when it is really a horrible thing in which we will suffer tremendously and then go to a place a lot like our notion of Hell?

@ 6:04:06 PM By Alli Coe

I am so bored. I want to die. I'd sleep but it's too hot to sleep.

@ 7:22:20 PM By Stuy Parker

"Piper Perabo's HUGE JAW getting fucked" at that!

@ 7:26:39 PM By Stuy Parker

Meet George Jetson. His boy, Elroy. Daughter, Judy. Jane, his wife.

I love the Jetsons. I want a dog like Astro and that thing named Orbity. I want a car like them....but not a boss like Spacely, he is evil.

@ 7:57:12 PM By Johnny Hodges

Good man! Good man!

@ 10:47:23 PM By Stuy Parker

New poll. I hemmed and hawwed over this one for a while and settled for just four answers. Oh well. You should enjoy none the less.

@ 11:08:21 PM By Stuy Parker

Friday, August 04, 2000

Ice cream and sleep? No! That's exactly what the pigs want me to do! Never! Don't let them get to you!

@ 12:52:22 AM By Stuy Parker

Good morning. I love living in an AOL world, I don't have to worry about the site looking like shit.

@ 9:06:13 AM By Stuy Parker

Where in the world is Freddie San Diego?

@ 10:00:31 AM By Stuy Parker

I am depressed. Bob Online is infinitely times greater than this shitty website of mine. Sigh. I should just close EB, it is a disgrace to the web.

@ 2:06:34 PM By Stuy Parker

Classic Search Strings Used To Get To Parts of EB: weird scary gothic funky pink clothes

@ 2:09:01 PM By Stuy Parker

The internet sure is boring on a friday afternoon, with nowhere to go. Go vote. I'll go sleep.

@ 2:11:54 PM By Stuy Parker

Turns out there is an actual valid reason I've been feeling like shit the past few days. Can anyone guess?....anyone?...anyone? Tonsilitis! (Also note that I watched Ferris Bueller this morning/afternoon.)

@ 5:28:46 PM By Alli Coe

Since I am such an idiot, I don't know whether you're lying or not, but I will say something though. You get to at least eat all the god damn ice cream you want, unless you get real sick of always eating that. I'm just glad I got them out already. Heh.

On a side note, it is Friday, and my CD is still not here. God damn you, UPS! No tip for you.

@ 5:55:01 PM By Johnny Hodges

It is actually true. I don't have to have my tonsils out or anything though, but I do have a lovely ball of puss in my throat. I'll bet you find me real sexy now, don't you? And now that you mention it ice cream does sound good. So does kool aide.

@ 5:59:24 PM By Alli Coe

For those of you dorkoids who didn't know that Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Disputably(sp) my favorite movie in the world) was written by Gonzo journalist Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Now you know. Anyway, apparently he had a bit of a problem with a bear and secretary. But, he seems to have a very nice secretary. I love Hunter. He's a good man. We should all be more like him. That was my NewsBlogger usage for the month.

@ 6:03:18 PM By Stuy Parker

Grape kool aide makes me want to cut all my hair off. Gheck. That stuff is horrible.

@ 6:20:33 PM By Stuy Parker

Hi, ExPlodey Chris.

@ 6:34:35 PM By Stuy Parker

If it wasn't for my six gigs of MP3s, I'd only be using two gigs of my ten gig drive. I feel much better about myself, and my software usage, now. Thank you, thank you.

@ 7:27:42 PM By Stuy Parker

Stuy, I would just like to tell you that I will sleep much better tonight knowing all that.

@ 7:32:49 PM By Alli Coe

My mom is so, uh, non-shallow: "What is Alli The Aligator doing on the floor? Who should have a tag and be valuable." Uh, thanks mom, gee, I'm sorry for being a child when I got it and didn't consider the possibility that loads of sheep like women would decided that something as stupid as beany babies would suddenly skyrocket in value.

Hmpf. Scarred childhood, here.

@ 8:20:04 PM By Stuy Parker

Yeah, sure, if you like using technology to be even more of a stupid talentless media whore. Sure thing, yeah.

@ 8:22:50 PM By Stuy Parker

Clinton! He gets done. (Sorry, that one was too easy.)

@ 8:25:00 PM By Stuy Parker

I've been meaning to send some linky love over to "And If I Die Before I Wake..." for like, three months ago... He's a cool guy, he's who all dads should be. He's a little stiff in the "Not a Dad" attitude, but he works... So no big deal. He didn't even smack me when I asked "Is your wife a good lay?" when he agreed to break out of the father-like mold. Good man!

He even put some much needed to be returned linky love to EffStuy in his Age-ism travel guide. He's a good guy, check him out. The smaddy entry will always be classic. There you go, that's my blog-like entry for the month.

@ 8:43:31 PM By Stuy Parker

Nah, I wasn't drunk. It was another form of intoxication. Err, yeah! Either way, drunk or other, they're both illegal! So no more speak! No more! Shush! [blacks out]

@ 8:53:54 PM By Stuy Parker

Is it me, or when you're playing a game and are about to lose, you always learn what you have to do just before you die/lose. However, when you go in again, you whoop ass and take names. Um, yeah. Tacos are good, go buy some.

@ 9:46:08 PM By Johnny Hodges

Why does everyone seem to have Tea for the Tillerman? It's like someone is mocking me. Or people are playing mind games. I suppose I'll find out, no skin off my back. I'll just watermark everything.

@ 11:33:03 PM By Stuy Parker

I think I'm starting to loose my mind. All night at the pool hall I kept thinking I was stripes or solids when I was actually the other. Luckily my friends are nice and would correct me before I made my shot. I was getting a bit frustrated though.

@ 11:33:59 PM By Alli Coe

Interesting Conversational Tidbits Said By Stuy: "I'm sure once you get out of the clothes your inhibitions will slither away ... (note: slither. like snakes. like the devil. mm. apples. eve... mm... eve... i could see you as eve... how about me as adam? oh, shit, where's my brain.)"

@ 11:56:54 PM By Stuy Parker

Thursday, August 03, 2000

Afext: If you use Dreamweaver you deserve to have your design fucked up, lol
Afext: No offence
ShadeBereit: God, fuck off
Afext: I didn't know you'd still address me as God, wow.

@ 1:46:58 AM By Stuy Parker

I couldn't help but smell dick, as I saw dick. I've never read Ben Brown either. Something is wrong with me. One day Barbelith, next day (few hours later) Ben Brown. Next day (twelve hours later), I'm going to be over at Oh Messy Life, masturbating over robo-porn while drawing a Ben Brown replicant, boxy eyes, with red ink on the back of Algebra work sheets. y=mx+b. My ass.

It's hard to keep yourself from scratching a scab that you can't see while you scratch it.

@ 1:59:45 AM By Stuy Parker

I have everything I have ever wanted right now. All I need to be complete right now is to pass the fucking Algebra 1B final tomarrow with an A and get a stupid C in the bloody class. Course, even if I don't, I'll have a class next year that will be a very... very easy A for me. If outrageously boring. Sigh. Life is too complete. This is the point where most really stupid people would go "I'm bored with life." and then kill themselves.

Stupid bastards.

I'm going to ride this wave for all it's worth! Pump it up Chris! (That's what I was abouta do!) (Sorry, this was more of a diary entry but this blog needs posts! Yeah man! Unfz! Go niggah g funk mastah dawg! Unfz!)

@ 2:25:27 AM By Stuy Parker

I don't know why I am linked in ReadMe.txt's menu, but I'm not disagreeing. Great design, good colors, I am jealous. Growl! Meowr! Hiss! Ruff Ruff! Or, more importantly, Moo!

@ 2:32:03 AM By Stuy Parker

Splash pages suck! If you have a stupid splash page, I hate you! No more "Image - Webrings List" splash pages! They are stupid and moronic! I hate you! I hate you! Hate! Hate! Hate! Yes! HATE! God, you people with domains. You have no idea how to run them. You aren't going to get someone to enter your site if you have the same image of Angelina Jolie (Or some goth chick.) that everyone else uses, tainted red, on your splash page, ok? Really. It will be the first sign that your site will suck, to me.

Sorry, I had a Cruel Review moment. (Hey, womyn!) ... As Lindsay put it: There are a lot of ugly horrible domains out there. ElectricBiscuit happens to be one of the best ones. Thank you, thank you.

@ 2:36:23 AM By Stuy Parker

Drink me. (I'm [kool-aid) makes my hair grow.]

@ 2:41:38 AM By Stuy Parker

Girl: you wanna lick my overly large yummy nipples?
Boy: please.
Auto response from Girl: hey Boy bwahaha im away eating and watching tv so there
Boy: Well fine then.
Boy: Geez, girls are fickle.
Boy: One minute you're licking their overly large yummey nipples, the next minute it's "sorry, I'm watching TV without you"

This is completely anonymous, but Boy was someone whose name spelled backward and upside down is "sirhC" (Text can't be made upside down in HTML! Fuck! Microsoft, add that option damn you!) and the girl is someone whose name spelled backward and upside down is "aiL"

Completely anonymous. Yup.

@ 2:45:48 AM By Stuy Parker

Boy: Being on EB is the ultimate for me ;)
Me: Yeah yeah
Me: Being on (Different Website) gets you hard though, I bet.
Me: (Harder than Ben Brown's nipples!)

@ 2:51:07 AM By Stuy Parker

Ew! Don't tell me those things in the morning! My face will be stuck in my "Ew!" face all day! Damnit!

@ 9:53:44 AM By Stuy Parker

New deaddreamer issue. Yum Yum Yum!

@ 10:07:10 AM By Stuy Parker

FUCK!

I didn't pass Algebra. I got a D+... Fucking a. Oh well, easy class for me next year I suppose. I get to be stupid my sophmore year.

@ 12:46:55 PM By Stuy Parker

Ahh. Tired.

@ 5:32:43 PM By Stuy Parker

I think Stuy needs ice cream and sleep. Heh.

Anwho. I think I now know how the people on eBay feel. Why? Because last night I was looking through some Diablo 2 sites and I came across dBay. It's just like eBay, but only you put in bigger amounts of money(gold). Yes addicting, but damn, it's so much fun.

@ 6:12:58 PM By Johnny Hodges

I just finished watching my boyfriend, John Cusack, and Stuy's girlfriend, Angelina Jolie, in Pushing Tin. John would never cheat on me in real life and that is just one of the many reasons I love him.

@ 10:10:19 PM By Alli Coe

Wednesday, August 02, 2000

We've beat down and dumbed up animals too much. If we left now, everything would die. The sun would nova, even.

@ 12:14:57 AM By Stuy Parker

Um, k. So....how about that Nads stuff? I see that infomercial every night, is the stuff really that good?

@ 12:32:30 AM By Johnny Hodges

Like I would ever use that stuff on my nads. Unless someone wants me hairless because of some kind of strange fetish. Hmm.

@ 1:40:53 AM By Stuy Parker

"In my nightmare, I feel so alive. In my dreamscape, escapades. I make the grade, I save the day..."

@ 1:46:49 AM By Stuy Parker

I don't know why Tiffany is in my pants (see gbook) but, you know, I am not complaining.

@ 1:49:56 AM By Stuy Parker

I was thinking of Ana, which lead me to think of TetriNet for god knows what reason. Which made me suggest it to Chris, who started to play it with me... We have realized our addiction to it, and I have realized my ability to show everyone a good time... *smirk* Good game, good play, he beat me... Eleven to nine... What a cock!

@ 4:11:40 AM By Stuy Parker

Hallo Spacepeople.

@ 12:47:00 PM By Stuy Parker

Right, like I get off on putting melted jolly ranchers on my legs. Ewy. It would make me want to eat the stuff and not use it to remove hair... I start licking my arms or sumthin. Heh, Heh. *smirk*

@ 12:50:35 PM By Stuy Parker

Gay. Thanks, uh, sketcher. But I am not linking you. Ha Ha Ha! Woo!

@ 12:52:54 PM By Stuy Parker

I didn't know you were funny, Tom. I thought it was all about little girls on bicycles. Weird, be funny more often, I am laughing. Mmm. Quake. Faraway babies crying. That is what I like in my morning comedy. Err, afternoon.

@ 12:55:50 PM By Stuy Parker

Contrary to popular belief, I am not a fan of the Blog format at all. Rarely did I, or rarely do I, read entire blog posts very often. Usually I just scan for a post that mentions me (because I am God, afterall) and then that's it... But, as frightening as it might sound, I just read all of Barbelith, and now I am moving onto the archives. You have no idea how strange this is. Puh. I haven't been quite so entertained with writing since Lance, when he used to be funny.

No offence, Lance. I still love you. In that "I don't really love you anymore, but lets still be friends that don't read eachother's webpages anymore." kind of way.

@ 1:03:49 PM By Stuy Parker

Inhale me. I'm nitrous oxide.

@ 1:12:02 PM By Stuy Parker

This is the coolest advertising banner ever made. Damn. Amazing art department.

@ 1:15:29 PM By Stuy Parker

I'm downloading ICQ......again. It was being a bitch and kept crashing. ICQ is to buggy for its own good now a days. I remember when it was small enough to fit on a floppy disk and had few to no bugs. I'd quit using it, but I know to many people on ICQ and it'd be odd of me to just not come on anymore. ICQ is like MTV, they both got sucky real quick.

@ 2:35:27 PM By Johnny Hodges

Don't ask me why I am watching "To Sir With Love" but, uhm, I am.

@ 3:03:14 PM By Stuy Parker

This episode of Moonlighting where everyone is fawning over Whoopi Goldberg is making me sick. Seriously, I am getting a headache and am starting to feel sick to my stomach. God she was uuugllly, too.

@ 4:23:17 PM By Stuy Parker

I seriously can not believe that "Maladjusted" is losing to "Amphetamines" and "Jellybeans"... c'mon you guys... if you vote for Maladjusted and email me I'll give you a kiss! *grins maniacally*

I'll do anything for some lovin'... ;)

@ 4:44:19 PM By Ana Cohen

I think I voted for "Maladjusted" way back when. Do I get a kiss? Maybe I shouldn't....tough decision.

@ 4:54:52 PM By Johnny Hodges

Replying to August 1st: Are you sure?

@ 8:52:14 PM By Stuy Parker

I voted for Maladjusted. My first vote. Where's my kiss, darlin'?

@ 11:14:16 PM By Stuy Parker

I'm trying to draw. Draw charcters, people, facees... I can draw boxy robots in poses and stuff easily, if I have a good idea in mind... but if I try to draw anyone real, like me, with curves and other thing... They turn out really ugly no matter how hard I try... Maybe it's something subconsious...

I drew a really really good Shirley Manson body though, but her face turned out very distorted and diseased looking. Oh well. Nice body, bad head. I'll be scanning these. Especially Robot-Brad/Lennon and my horrid realistic one...

@ 11:44:56 PM By Stuy Parker

Tuesday, August 01, 2000

Lick me. I'm a toad.

@ 12:29:14 AM By Stuy Parker

Mine and Ana's telephone conversations are interesting:

Me: So how has your day been? All three hours of it.
Ana: Well first hour I finished watching green mile, and then last two have been talking to you...
Me: Well how has talking to me been?
Ana: Wet and sticky
Me: Oh?
Ana: Yeah, I have this uncontrolable urge to suck on my fingers.
Me: *choke*

@ 12:33:27 AM By Stuy Parker

This is my second day of actual summer and I have no idea what to do. There were all these things I wanted to do before but now that I have the time I cannot remember what they were. Also, I've discovered that sitting at the computer all day just isn't as fun when you don't have actual work to avoid.

@ 10:11:36 AM By Alli Coe

I was putting dishes away and came to the sudden realization that I don't know where the spoons go. The forks have all but taken over the silverwear drawer leaving the spoons with nowhere to go. Damn forks.

@ 10:19:06 AM By Alli Coe

Anyone who lists Say Anything among their favorite movies deserves my undying love. Anyone who also likes Barton Fink, Chinatown, the Cohen Brothers, Kevin Spacey, John Cusack (etc) not only deserves my undying love but will have it whether he likes it or not.

@ 10:47:38 AM By Alli Coe

Mmm. Jack in the Box. Bacon Bacon Cheeseburgers and cold Egg Rolls. Mmm.

@ 12:56:49 PM By Stuy Parker

Don't be a tease. I get that enough from Ana, and, yeah, everyone else. A redhead tease is even worse.

@ 1:03:26 PM By Stuy Parker

I crumpled up my Bacon Bacon Cheeseburger wrapper, and tossed for the wastebasket across the room. It bounced off the edge of the wastebasket and right into my left Dr. Marten. Damn, I hate that. I'm not going to bother to get it out either, just as well.

@ 1:07:13 PM By Stuy Parker

It's only cause you're the most fun person to tease Stuy... and I only tease the bois I love... ;) *teases Stuy*

Wow... a Bacon Cheeseburger sounds good about now... *looks at her watch and realizes she hasn't eaten for at least 18 hours*

*stomach rumbles* funny how I wasn't hungry until SOMEONE mentioned food.

@ 1:08:58 PM By Ana Cohen

This is what I want to do: Desktop Cam! I should do it, except you guys would see me looking at so much porn, you wouldn't be able to imagine... but I suppose I could turn it off then.

@ 1:21:29 PM By Stuy Parker

Personally, I don't care to know just how much porn you look up or what you do with all the saved pictures off of my webcam.

@ 1:27:34 PM By Alli Coe

I probably shouldn't mention this, but someone gave me a name and password for some porn site, but I lost it. Hehe. I got my class schedule in for school. I'm so happy too, I get to goof off basically from August til January. Oh yeah, gotta love computers and their ingenious to schedule easy classes.

I have some left over Lasagna, Ana.

@ 1:35:16 PM By Johnny Hodges

Lasagna is yummy... but Mommy dearest is bringing me fried chicken... well, I'm at 19 hours and counting since I've eaten... this is semi cool... not really... I'm losing weight... which is bad... but you guys don't care... so I'll just go cry about it.

Exactly how many times did you use this name and pass before you lost it Johnny? ;)

@ 2:00:49 PM By Ana Cohen

Afext: I think I should go lay down...
Afext: (On the floor, with verve running around)
Xia314: okay... go *lie* down... not lay
Xia314: i hope he pees on you
Afext: Yeah yeah
Afext: Now let me bbiaf.
(Four mintues pass.)
Afext: YOU SUCK!
Xia314: lol
Xia314: what???
Afext: He climbed over my arm, AND PEED ON ME ON HIS WAY OVER
Afext: ARRGGH
Xia314: LOL!!!!!!
Xia314: hahahahha
(Silence from poor Stuy, here.)
Xia314: hehehehehe
Xia314: oh my gosh thats too funny
Xia314: i can't stop laughing
Afext: Shut up.

@ 2:05:57 PM By Stuy Parker

*Grins sweetly at Stuy as she slowly backs away*

I didn't actually hope that he'd pee on you... seriously.... *chokes back laughter*

@ 2:06:59 PM By Ana Cohen

*laughs hysterically*

@ 2:09:27 PM By Alli Coe

Afext: The moment you pee on me (from too much excitement or whatever, god knows it happens) I'm gone, though

Does this mean no watersports? Okay people... now you know that peeing on Stuy is NOT a turn-on... everyone write this in your books...

@ 2:13:07 PM By Ana Cohen

Even your humble narrator has bad days, oh my brothers.

@ 2:14:32 PM By Stuy Parker

Mental Note: Stuy does not like to be urinated on. (hey..some people are into that kinda stuff!)

@ 2:18:46 PM By Alli Coe

Just for your information, I never used the password and name, Ana. I'm not as perverted as most men, or maybe I'm lying through my teeth, you'll never know.

Stuy, dude, that's why when I had hamsters we made them run around in plastic blue balls. Yes, torturous, but we didn't want our dog to eat them. Yarbles, great bouncy yarblockos to you. Or not. I need to read the book again.

@ 2:19:51 PM By Johnny Hodges

I have come to realization that I will never find anyone in my highschool that is a Cat Stevens fan, too. Sigh. I am having fun with Deepleap, though, just as a novelty because I know it holds no real use for me whatsoever. Here's an idea: Make it so you can Blog from Deepleap. That would be grand.

@ 2:33:47 PM By Stuy Parker

A friend called earlier saying she was stuck in class because there were tons of bees outside. I didn't get full details but just hearing that made me want to shut up the house and run around screaming "the bees are coming, the bees are coming!" (And yes, I do have a small bee phobia.)

@ 2:37:26 PM By Alli Coe

Are they.....killer bees?

@ 2:52:46 PM By Johnny Hodges

I just got a call from a friend of mine from Driver's Education. She was pregnant back in Mayand she called to tell me that she had her baby about 3 weeks ago. Yay for her! She also told me that the baby pisses a shitload but he doesn't shit a shitload. Did that make sense?

Apple Jacks and Coca Cola are good together.

@ 3:10:25 PM By Johnny Hodges

Mean people suck sometimes.

@ 3:50:02 PM By Johnny Hodges

Johnny... you sincerely scare me to death sometimes...

God that's such a turn-on... fear... ohh baybee...

*giggles*

@ 5:16:04 PM By Ana Cohen

That was a joke... just in case you didn't get it...

such dirty minds you people have... tsk tsk

@ 5:17:22 PM By Ana Cohen

I lied down, sorry. Fell asleep. Sweated off another five pounds. My blood is too thick for this place. Sigh. Fell asleep with AlliCam running. Current count: 360 Page Views, Visit Length: 3 hours 23 mintues. Jeez.

@ 5:52:36 PM By Stuy Parker

The "Do you care?" poll seems so oddly appropriate right now.

@ 5:54:21 PM By Stuy Parker

Er, uh, well, uhm... Thanks, I love a good licking. You should be seeing spiders on the walls soon, tons of them. I am a hallucinogenic toad, after all! ... Also, I've never heard anything "smack ass" but I'll take your word for it and move right on...

Thank you, Zahk. (Your permalinks don't work either, boi. Ack! Ana has me calling people boi! Nooo!) ... And I suppose, "Stroke me like the precious metal I am, I'm Gold." is out of the question now, too? Damnit! That was my next big thing!

@ 6:10:05 PM By Stuy Parker

NewBlogger: The biggest waste of a domain since sliced bread! (Why didn't you just intergrate it into Blogger as a 'tool,' or something? That woulda been the smart thing to do, I suppose. Sigh.)

@ 7:33:41 PM By Stuy Parker

Oh why me, oh why me.

@ 7:43:23 PM By Stuy Parker

I don't have one thousand four hundred and fourty-four mp3s. I don't know what you're talking about. No, I insist, I have no idea. Really. Now please leave me alone. [turns and faces the corner]

@ 7:51:58 PM By Stuy Parker

Wow, I sure did miss a lot while sitting in my room staring limitlessly at the polygon that is Jill Valentine for almost two whole hours. Um...yeah...anyway. I guess I'll go back to eating candy and listening to scary synthesized opera voices for now.

@ 7:53:35 PM By Johnny Hodges

I get really bored. Really, really, bored.

@ 8:19:10 PM By Stuy Parker

I'll bet that even though Stuy's mp3 collection is much much bigger than mine I have more artists in mine.

@ 11:01:57 PM By Alli Coe

I'm in this discussion about the human race and society and life and other such crap in IRC. I've come to the conclusion that we humans have over stayed our visit on earth. We humans should killed, we should not be given second chances. Let the puppies and kitties rule the world. They at least appreciate it. There, I've stated my opinion, let the puppies and kitties rule the world!

@ 11:07:06 PM By Johnny Hodges

Monday, July 31, 2000

Calapitter.net gets my link, not only because of her guestbook post, but because Angela Lindvall is the most beautiful woman in the world, and she's on the splash!

@ 12:14:53 AM By Stuy Parker

I just would like to say one thing to some of the people who speak Internetish(abbreviations everywhere like u for you and those horrible words like kewl), you people frighten me. Sorry if it offends anyone, though I hope it doesn't, you people just scare me. Lesse what else...oh yeah! Eat Sour Skittles! And, this is Johnny, saying good blog, good night. Oh that was so corny. No more Celebrity Deathmatch reruns for me. Good night.

@ 1:15:10 AM By Johnny Hodges

Good mornning. Good afternoon. Good evening. There, all times of the time handled. I'm still sleepy after only getting 6 hours of sleep. I'm awake by my own free will....that and the cleaning lady is here, joy. *yawns* I need food.

@ 10:32:40 AM By Johnny Hodges

I've got chicken patties in the oven and nothing to do. I think I'll just go to random sites until my lunch is ready. I'm hungry now, but I have to wait.

@ 12:06:41 PM By Johnny Hodges

Chicken patties? You crazy bastard.

@ 12:46:49 PM By Stuy Parker

I thought everyone saw EB like this. I don't know what you mean by "Screwed up", MarQ...

@ 12:53:00 PM By Stuy Parker

Yes, chicken patties. They were once part of a chicken named Patty. Let's give this wonderful chicken a moment of silence......she's damn good too.

@ 12:55:11 PM By Johnny Hodges

Look who's hosted by ElectricBiscuit now: ExPlodey! Except he really needs to upload his images to the server... What a ditz! Fix your fucking permalinks, too!

@ 1:13:58 PM By Stuy Parker

Wow, Stuy is just a super hosting pimp now.

@ 1:25:53 PM By Alli Coe

Little Plucky Duck: Water go down the hole.

Little Plucky Duck is just cool.

@ 1:57:38 PM By Johnny Hodges

EB has a super duper spiffy scrollbar now for you IE5.5 users... Hosted and Linky Love menus updated. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

@ 2:07:49 PM By Stuy Parker

I think everyone needs to go out and buy the book Good Omens before you do anything else today...
It is a rockin' good book... really... truly... madly... deeply...

God DAMNIT I'm never going to get away from that stupid song now... *puts a plastic bag over her head and screams*

@ 2:14:00 PM By Ana Cohen

Gosh Johnny is rather fond of his tongue, aren't you Johnny? ;)

@ 2:19:42 PM By Ana Cohen

Well :P to you and :p again and again and again. Never can have to much tongue. Put BBQ sauce on your cow tongues and you have something delicious. **Consumer Warning: Johnny has really never had cow tongue, so do not believe him, he is stoopd.**

And Stuy. Pretty scroll bar. That is, if a scroll bar can be pretty.

@ 2:25:34 PM By Johnny Hodges

What does Stuyvesant Parker do in his free time? He plays with webpages. That is, of course, halfandhalf.

@ 2:28:27 PM By Stuy Parker

Well Johnny is right about never having too much tongue... tongue is a good thing.... *chokes on her cream soda*

;)

@ 2:28:42 PM By Ana Cohen

More fun with halfandhalf. If you don't stop that with Johnny, I'll stick the fucking leashes on you. (Fear and Loathing reference alert!)

@ 2:40:47 PM By Stuy Parker

Ana, I think that was a tad to much tongue in your soda.

Ludwig van Beethoven's 9th Symphony in techno form is...uh....interesting. Fur Elise in techno form is even more interesting. However! The Phantom of the Opera in techno form is just cool.

@ 2:45:21 PM By Johnny Hodges

*jumps* leashes? oh anything but that Stuy...

And stop WHAT? We're just talking... *coyly sticks her tongue out at Johnny*

@ 2:48:22 PM By Ana Cohen

Oh my gosh... Tobey Maguire as SPIDER-MAN?!? Gag me with a spoon...

I mean sure he's hot and everything... but still... I keep seeing that "Inside the Actors Studio" thing from SNL with him as Screech... *shudders*

@ 2:54:08 PM By Ana Cohen

Tobey Maguire was the hitchhiker in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas! Rock on, dawg!

@ 3:02:05 PM By Stuy Parker

Have I told you all about my mad crush on Peter Parker before?

@ 3:10:33 PM By Alli Coe

My puppy got a new squeak toy, so all I hear now is a lot of squeaking. Make it stop!

@ 3:19:49 PM By Johnny Hodges

I have a secret love for violins. Ssh, don't tell anyone though.

@ 3:59:22 PM By Johnny Hodges

What kind of secret love for violins? Are we talking fetish here?

@ 4:08:06 PM By Alli Coe

Very much a fetish... He feels for violins the way most people feel about lacy underclothing... ;)

@ 4:11:14 PM By Ana Cohen

I think it's nearing fetish with each new song I hear. I am going to make one of my children(if I have any) learn it even if they don't want to. Gosh, I'm cruel to them and they haven't even been born yet.

@ 4:13:35 PM By Johnny Hodges

Just don't name your kids Vi and Lin... I actually knew children with those names... Poor dears...

*sheds a lone tear*

@ 4:18:47 PM By Ana Cohen

I'll make sure not to name them that. I'm sure if they are/were smart they would have changed their names by now. I'd probably name my children Orangejello and Yellowjello. I'm kidding, I'm not that stupid. Someone once thought that the hospital named their child for them because she saw "baby" on the ID bracelet and so, that ended up being the child's name. Some people....

Yay! The Squeaking has stopped!

@ 4:27:15 PM By Johnny Hodges

A fetish that will spread to your children? That is a bit sick.

@ 4:33:12 PM By Alli Coe

I wanna name my kid Anathema Jael... Yes I'm cruel but it's such a pretty name! If you just ignore the meaning behind it, it sounds really pretty...

@ 4:33:47 PM By Ana Cohen

Yes....sick indeed. I'm just that twisted. It's at least something I can pass on.

@ 4:51:29 PM By Johnny Hodges

I was wondering the same thing. What could they possibly put on a "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" CD? 12 songs, it seems. It comes out tomorrow, kids, for only $17.98 go order it now because I know you all can't wait to hear Regis sing "Pennies From Heaven"!

@ 4:53:51 PM By Alli Coe

It just goes to show that people will buy anything... Hey, we should put out an ElectricBiscuit CD! I bet people would buy that too...

That would rock so hard...

@ 4:58:37 PM By Ana Cohen

Yeah, and Stuy could do a cover of Regis doing "Pennies From Heaven" You think Stuy can sing...or anyone at EB for that matter? God knows I certainly can't.

@ 5:09:15 PM By Alli Coe

Now I know when the real apocolypse is.

@ 5:51:44 PM By Johnny Hodges

I had the strange urge to hear "Peaches" by The Presidents today and finally got around to doing so. Can there ever be a better song about such a lovely fruit? I think not.

@ 5:53:50 PM By Alli Coe

I hate when people talk to me like I've just been released from a psychiatric hospital: "how are you doing today..is everything alright...are you sure" A simple "whats up" or "get any lately" will do.

@ 5:56:54 PM By Alli Coe

I will kick you all off of EB if you don't stop blogging more than me. Growl! Hiss!

@ 6:29:02 PM By Stuy Parker

Someone finally voted for Nasty Scheme! Whoever you are, I love you, and I want to have your child! Please! I don't care if I have to turn in Arnold S. (Cos I can't spell his name!) in "Junior," please, let me have your child!

Okay, see, that went from "being funny" to "just being sick" rather quickly. Damnit. See, kids, we all hit and miss sometimes, eh?

@ 6:33:37 PM By Stuy Parker

I was working on an Explodey logo just because I'm bored and I felt creative. The keyword is "was" which usually means: I got pretty far, and it was looking pretty neato. My computer read my thoughts of happiness, and decided that it must be unhealthy to be so satisfied. So my computer sent a GPF request over to Photoshop. Photoshop agreed with their arguement, and thouroughly crashed on me, losing all my work. Thank you, computer.

"I used to trust nobody, trusting even less their words. --- I used to walk alone, every step seemed the same. This world was not my home, so there was nothing much to gain. Look up and see the clouds, look down and see the cold floor." - I Think I See The Light

@ 7:15:49 PM By Stuy Parker

I would say something like "Now, exactly what was that song's title, Jerwin?" but I wont, because I'm not a heartless dick. But, in other news, what's up, buddy ol' pal?

@ 7:28:16 PM By Stuy Parker

I am so sick. New Supeficial Jesus Pose entry finally. I need to update the archive sections on the templates for both SJP and EffStuy. Damnit. I am so lazy.

@ 7:44:46 PM By Stuy Parker

Cat Stevens is the greatest. If you don't love him, you're a big poopy head! And everyone hates you! *pppphhtt*

@ 7:59:36 PM By Stuy Parker

Burned my tongue on pizza. I swear, one of these days, one of these days... I'm going to get back at all the hot food that has burned my tongue. Mark my word!

@ 8:16:20 PM By Stuy Parker

"Now maybe you're right and maybe you're wrong, But I ain't gonna argue with you no more, I've done it for too long. It was getting so good why then, where did it go? I can't think about it no more tell me if you know. You were loving me, I was loving you, but now there aint nothing but regretting. Nothing, nothing but regretting everything we do." - Maybe you're right.

@ 8:25:41 PM By Stuy Parker

A few days late, but a new deaddreamer issue.

@ 8:38:24 PM By Stuy Parker

Shit! I was hoping I wouldn't have any competition anymore! Oh well, I suppose Maximo is here forever. [melodramatic sigh]

@ 9:31:57 PM By Stuy Parker

The next-next EB design will be all about megaliths. Thanks Openlog. The reason I say "next-next" is because I need to give Natalie a chance to do her guest design. Hehehe. Hi Natalie!

@ 9:41:57 PM By Stuy Parker

NewYorkGoil cancels request; the file will not be sent.
NewYorkGoil: Oh wait I messed up didn't I
Afext: Argh
Afext: Go away.

Harrass her, Lee. I give you full permission. Harass her to the full extents of your ability.

@ 9:54:19 PM By Stuy Parker

I'm running low on energy here. I need sleep. But me, being the really nice guy I am, am staying up with a friend of mine in an IRC chat until she goes to bed. Why, you may ask, am I staying up? Aren't there other people in the room? To put it simply, there are three other people besides us, one is a loud mouth somewhat perverted 13 year old, a weird Trekkie, and someone who isn't really there. And no, the Trekkie isn't a regular like the other four of us. My dog was chewing on a pigs ear(rawhide) and then a giant bone about the size of her head. Oh yeah, this is such an interesting night....maybe I should do something constructive.

@ 10:47:17 PM By Johnny Hodges

Sunday, July 30, 2000

Woohoo! Tooloo! Stuy Parker is no longer a single geek! Woohoo! Tooloo!

@ 12:54:03 AM By Stuy Parker

My swivel chair squeaks and moans. It needs to be oiled down good, along with my bedroom door. Anyway, it's later here, the Sunday paper just got delivered and the first idiot of the day has walked the street so I think this means I need to go bed. I still have taco breath from earlier....eww.

@ 12:55:36 AM By Johnny Hodges

I just want to say that being sick is the most unfun thing someone can do on a weekend... and I can't even look forward to work tomorrow... I don't work anymore! Blah

Life sucks.

@ 10:32:30 AM By Ana Cohen

Actually... correction... life doesn't suck...

much... well... maybe it does... this was pointless... nevermind... sorry... im going away now...

@ 10:33:11 AM By Ana Cohen

Oh this is good... I'm not gay... and I'm not straight...

"ou want to have the best of both sexes, although you slightly prefer men, you can be just as happy with the other sex aswell. As for your butch/femme level; you are no doubt a femme, although you are not always acting like one, there is no doubt in your mind about it."

I'm bi... woo ha... bring it on ladies! ;)

@ 10:36:23 AM By Ana Cohen

Yyyyawwnn. Howdy.

@ 11:11:32 AM By Stuy Parker

"stubborn, redheaded Scorpio" Wow...me too..she must be cool.

@ 11:29:01 AM By Alli Coe

Funny, Fox wants me to link her, but, like... She's not a redhead anymore! Nooo! Also, it's ironic, because she's in the last Dead Dreamer wallpaper... Hehhehe. And, no, I liked the old design much more. You can't please me, don't even try.

@ 11:59:51 AM By Stuy Parker

It's wet outside. It hasn't been wet in ages here. I woke up at 2 to the sound of thunder and rain. I was shocked. Off to the grocery store, need more coke and candy.

@ 1:11:48 PM By Johnny Hodges

Just don't get a big (red) head! Ha ha! Woo! I kill me! Ha ha ha! Ahhh... Damn. I am so funny.

@ 1:50:12 PM By Stuy Parker

I accidently called Sara/Ana "Paula" on the phone. That was horrible, I was ready to cut my own dick off. One can only imagine how bad it is to cry out someone else's name in bed. Jeezus, I would lose my balls.

@ 2:31:34 PM By Stuy Parker

[ego]

@ 2:38:33 PM By Stuy Parker

I tasted southern sin with a girl who was just perfection, had a two room condo back in a wealthy section of the florida flatlands where she had me kept in a wicked trance for a day...

@ 2:44:38 PM By Stuy Parker

The main EB hits from a specific country are from Hungary... Uh, that's a little unexpected. Right below that at #4 is US Educational, hehhehehehe. #11 is US Government, with 1812 hits. Yawn.

@ 3:00:05 PM By Stuy Parker

The Girl.ElectricBiscuit.com subdomain is vacant now... if anyone has a website and would like to take over the 'girl' subdomain, please email me... You must have FTP experience, that's all... Just email me.

@ 3:14:44 PM By Stuy Parker

Woo hoo... I can hardly wait... Football *ahem* pre-season starts in less than a week! I can already taste the sweat of amazingly hot buff guys in tight pants and pads...

Probably the only time I can say I want to see a guy in a pad... ;)

*pointedly ignores Stuy*

@ 3:35:53 PM By Ana Cohen

Fish Heads is up and running on EB now... Hurrah! I gotta update the menus now... Gotta redo linkylove anyway, so I can include a very special person, you know who you are!

@ 3:38:18 PM By Stuy Parker

FUCK! Pennies and Vaccumes do NOT mix. Holy shit. This entire room smells like melted plastic. The penny got stuck in a weird way, so when the turner things turned, the penny burned a line around it, and the motor was over doing itself and... IT SMELLS TERRIBLE, just take my word for it.

@ 3:44:19 PM By Stuy Parker

Been there, done that... I think fucking up your vacuum cleaner is an integral part of cleaning your room... it seems to happen every time I do...

@ 3:47:51 PM By Ana Cohen

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind, I promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine, I promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye, I promise not to try not to let you down...

Blah... I still liked Eve6 longer than you...

@ 4:04:42 PM By Ana Cohen

I've never sucked up money into a vaccuum, but I did break one by using it to vaccuum a mess my dog made after she chewed through cardboard. I didn't know cardboard would get stuck to the sides and clog it up.

Do you like Sour Skittles as much as I do? You better. If you can't tell, that bag was already opened. Sour Skittles are good.

@ 4:06:35 PM By Johnny Hodges

Giving Verve a dish of water and telling him not to knock it over and spill water all over the floor is like giving a five year old a loaded magnum and telling him not to shoot his best friend in the face on accident. [sigh] Let's get the water vacuum(!), if one existed...

@ 4:13:26 PM By Stuy Parker

Um... yeah... they're called Wet/Dry Vacs... *duh* really now

Crap I'm supposed to be ignoring you cause you can't seem to get my name right...

@ 4:18:44 PM By Ana Cohen

I'm an old lady. *hehe*

@ 4:26:23 PM By Ana Cohen

My CD player keeps skipping on Eve 6... Should just play the mp3s. Sigh.

@ 4:45:42 PM By Stuy Parker

You're an old lady with pretty hair though. *smile smile wink wink* My candy is getting to me already.

@ 4:57:43 PM By Johnny Hodges

Stupid Jerwin. It's all your fault I am infatuated with Eve 6. Damn you! Damn you straight to hell! Bwhahahaha!

@ 5:31:29 PM By Stuy Parker

Things on my desk right now: Four remote controls. (One stereo, one good VCR, one bad VCR, one TV) Nine cans of pepsi. (Empty and somewhat empty) One can of Easy Cheese. One bag of Frito Scoops. One phone. One Fossil tin can. One (empty) Vertigo box. One Bible. Several Zip Disk cases. Two tin robots. Two promotional X-Men comics. One World Operations Manual. One Fossil "Brain" watch. Too much crap.

@ 6:26:48 PM By Stuy Parker

And exactly what is wrong with gold spandex and long nicely trimmed nails, mister? Hmmmmm?

Oh yeah...

I love you, Fry.

Even if you did steal my idea without knowing it, but it's all good in the hood my sister. Where the heck did the name Fry come from anyway? Hmmmmmm....

@ 6:46:59 PM By Stuy Parker

I think I'm in love. Oh yeah, let's not forget this important quote from me: "She laughed, I laughed, we were official, it was strange." Thank you, thank you.

@ 8:06:34 PM By Stuy Parker

You people scare me.

@ 8:17:19 PM By Stuy Parker

I am the dopest shit... I don't think people were meant to have that much fun with Gravilux, but I suppose I can. Bwhahaha.

@ 8:24:49 PM By Stuy Parker

I think I have an unhealthy obsession with Sailor Mercury. I think it's her boots.

@ 8:59:25 PM By Johnny Hodges

I've been in a Resident Evil MUCK for the past two hours. Yes I like games, I like them a lot. Anyway I just thought something that was said was note worthy. It's rather funny in a sick way.

"Antonio fires at the once beautiful female zombie
She moans louder and longer than any other zombie
J.J. ooc>..why is that so funny? lol..
Wesker says, 'Orgasmic.'
J.J. oocly laughs
Chris lmao
Wesker says, 'Necrophiliac Orgasmic.'
Another zombie moans something...'comfort me....'
Wesker says, "Zomberific!"
J.J. ooc> comfort me! wahahha! errk wish me luck mew! o.o;"

Yeah, funny, in a sick way.

@ 10:52:18 PM By Johnny Hodges

I didn't realize how long I was gone until I went to catch up on all the EB posts. I feel so lost. I'll sort things out in the morning and write the diary entry I've been meaning to write for a couple days now.

@ 11:12:02 PM By Alli Coe