paints a pretty picture in the girl section.
@ 6:53:40 PM By Stuy Parker
The Back to the Future triology is absolutely fucked in the head. I'm finally watching the second and third ones on USA. The second one was good. I'm half an hour into the third one and I can already tell it's gonna be pretty bad. I remember it being horrible when I was a kid and no one liking it, so my expectations are low but I am never one to pay any attention to my expecations. They're usually blown away, like Sixth Sense or Blair Witch Project... Yawn, all for the definate better.
@ 10:01:49 PM By Stuy Parker
Oh my god! Nothing could honestly be funnier than that first entry about the retarded acting. That is... So... Funny... And realistic.
@ 10:40:32 PM By Stuy Parker
Lee, Mr. Aim Files, is having quite a good time Instant Messaging me from random screen names, saying "You're gay"... Oh, why do I put up with such abuse? No one ever IMs me to tell me "I love you, stuy."
@ 11:07:49 PM By Stuy Parker
Friday, May 26, 2000
I was about to take that marriage test below but it's made for a woman... And not P.H. Balanced for a man.
@ 12:16:00 AM By Stuy Parker
Wow, uhm, cold mornings suck. Oh yeah, mornings suck. Period... Such a pity too, such as the morning is connected to the night, which happens to be really cool, so somewhere inbetween the night switches into "Suck" mode, and ta-da, the day is born. Sigh.
@ 7:00:59 AM By Stuy Parker
Your current wallpaper says a lot about what you're feeling. Perhaps exposing your emotions on screen isn't quite the smartest thing to do in public domain, but you can always just pass it off as a reference to nine inch nails.
@ 7:36:22 AM By Stuy Parker
Be a man, Stuy, take the marriage predictor test even if it is made for a woman. I know you've taken the Sex Goddess test and a "what method of contraception is best for you" test. When has a test being made for a woman ever stopped you before?
@ 9:43:18 AM By Alli Coe
Good point. So, I'll take this marriage crystal ball test and let's see when I shall be married. With my luck, I'll be "to be married" on a date before it's legally possible, except in canada. Eh?
I should be married on Saturday, August 17th, 2002. Isn't that the same day as Ariel? Holy shit! It is! I'll only be 17 then, so, eh, I suppose it's not quite correct... But the test is mostly to tell me that "Yes, I'm pretty damn close to finding the person I should be with for the rest of my life"...
Sigh.
@ 3:45:18 PM By Stuy Parker
Due to the bitchings of, who I think was, Dlevy, (uhm, no link, sorry, can't be bothered ;P)... I searched out a fully originally illustrated version of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland so... I am a happy reader.
I got busted at school for printing out the picture of the hooka smoking catapillar in the library, for Jason. I printed out a copy and folded it up and put it carefully in my pocket, and then jason, being a major idiot, leaves it out. The librarian caught him and I confessed and we both got our asses whipped around.
Stupid Jason. Oh, and ElectricBiscuit.com is offically fully blocked by Bess. Thank god they didn't find all the hidden porn! Bwahahahaha!
@ 4:08:04 PM By Stuy Parker
This is all very well and good, I feel as if my brain is being sucked through my ears... it's a rather kinky feeling actually. Excuse me whilest I go enjoy it.
@ 4:12:06 PM By Ana Cohen
Heading over to Will's house so we can watch my DVD of the hilariously dark Rushmore... That movie makes me feel so awkward, I can't explain it... While being able to laugh at it, it makes me want to crawl into a corner, under the foundation of a house... I think it hits too close to home. Sigh.
@ 4:54:05 PM By Stuy Parker
This has been bugging me for 3 hours now. What exactly IS I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. I mean, it's obviously NOT butter, but it isn't exactly margarine either... this is an extremely stupid thing I know, but my little brain won't let me give it up!
@ 7:08:04 PM By Ana Cohen
It's amazing how only now I realize that I will never meet anyone here who likes the same thing I do. I am completely alone here, I can't meet anyone who likes the same things I do... Be it music, movies, attraction...
Case in point: I made Will, Matt, and Jose watch Rushmore (below), and they hated it... They hated it because it wasn't funny enough, it was "too long" (An hour and a half), and there was no sex at all... Geez, they didn't even like the amazing soundtrack... Sigh.
Also, Case in Point: My friends make fun of Tara. "She looks like a wolf" "She has knobby knees." Blah blah blah blah. Fuck you, too, Geoff with your FAT MEXICAN ASS GIRL... Gah, fuck them all.
Also, Case in Point: It doesn't stop there... Did I mention no one likes radiohead? Or how about the Beatles? Or maybe even... Well, just about everything I adore... It's not "cool" to like my music... It's cool to be into shitty bands like Korn, Limp Bizkit, Slipknot... All these shitty no-talent beat-our-guitars bands that sound like sheer and utter crap.
Uh, excuse me, since when did yelling, screaming, and overly distorted broken guitars become art? Sigh.
@ 8:34:19 PM By Stuy Parker
Milla Jovovich is a beautiful woman, a beautiful actress, a beautiful musician, and a beautiful singer... Honestly, what more can you possibly want in a woman? Oh, and she's compassionate and cool, and she's been divorced, oh, three times now? Or maybe it's just twice. Ah. Who really cares?
Milla Jovovich is yummy.
@ 11:56:18 PM By Stuy Parker
Thursday, May 25, 2000
Didn't close the stupid itallics tag, four hours ago. I feel so stupid. Sorry peoples.
@ 12:33:58 AM By Stuy Parker
"yes i love dead insects death makes me happy" she says.
Nothing could be more classic than that line. Except, perhaps, "OH FICKLE! GO EAT YOUR BUTTER AND GET A DESEASE"... Which might go down for all time hilarious quote from a harasser of me.
@ 1:03:22 AM By Stuy Parker
Honestly I couldn't think of a better usage for some mouse over javascript, it's hideously nifty. No, really.
@ 1:21:45 AM By Stuy Parker
I'd blog about something right now but I am so hellishly tired, it's not even funny. I'm more awake when I sleep only three hours. When I sleep like, over eight hours, I tire myself out from sleeping too much. Sigh. My mind was not made to wake up suddenly, it was made to gradually rise into conciousness. I feel like I could cry.
@ 7:31:30 AM By Stuy Parker
Spitting in a wishing well
Blown to hell... Crash.
I'm the last splash.
I know you, little libertine
I know you're a real koo koo
Want you, koo koo, cannonball!
@ 5:20:38 PM By Stuy Parker
I've finally updated my diary with a pretty long entry... I love my diary because I know that even if no one enjoys reading it, it helps me sort my thoughts around, expand them, realize exactly what is lurking inside my mind... I can't discover things by just thinking or speaking... Gotta write, it just flows from me...
Oh well, I hope you diary junkies actually enjoy reading my diary... Blogger really needs to get that "Archive Once A Day" function up, damnit!
@ 5:59:09 PM By Stuy Parker
One day, I too will find my own hot college chick to stalk, while drunk, wearing a toga, and ranting and raving about how I have feelings too! I want to play backgammon damnit! I am so abused!
@ 6:06:57 PM By Stuy Parker
I just realized exactly why the Blogs to the left are in the Daily Read list, once again... Oh yeah, they're really fucking entertaining! ...no shit, eh?
@ 6:16:13 PM By Stuy Parker
When I was a little kid, and I hated reading (What was wrong with me?), I would have never envisioned myself like this... Eight years later, feeling over joyed that I am finally reading Alice In Wonderland, on the internet no less... God bless NetLibrary.
@ 6:40:44 PM By Stuy Parker
I'm back...woohoo! Okay, so I was never really gone, but my computer was. So now that it is back, I can post to eb all the time again. Rejoice and be happy.
@ 7:51:55 PM By Alli Coe
Yay! I am now in shitlogs, which fits this blog in more than just one way... Tooloo! (Haha eat your heart out lindsaaay!)
@ 8:20:33 PM By Stuy Parker
I'm becoming a household name, I'm blogged on, just about, a twice daily average... Sure that's nothing compared to, say, evhead, but you know, still. I'm popular, I got a cool car, I'm popular... Uhm, yeah.
@ 8:57:16 PM By Stuy Parker
Ted Danson scares the living crap out of me. The horizontal menu picture is actually rather creepy and enchanting. It looks like he's gazing directly into my soul. Sideways.
@ 9:33:12 PM By Stuy Parker
Stuy has a cool car?
@ 10:09:59 PM By Alli Coe
I love sara, still. Damn me. I really suck. Let me forget again.
@ 10:51:49 PM By Stuy Parker
According to The Marriage Crystal Ball I will be married by Saturday August 17, 2002. Damn, and I haven't even started planning it yet, not to mention found a groom. Send in your marriage proposals now, boys.
@ 10:57:13 PM By Alli Coe
Wednesday, May 24, 2000
The only time Leno has been funny in, oh, four years... The Martha Stewart bit tonight... He actually unbuttoned his proverbial collar for a while there and was funny... I almost died of shock.
@ 12:24:04 AM By Stuy Parker
Oh My God! I am having so much fun, I'm about to shoot pepsi out my nose! My God!
@ 12:52:09 AM By Stuy Parker
Well, uhm, eLecTRiCBisCUiT to you, too... Geez. I actually write it 'electricbiscuit' for your information. harrumpf.
@ 7:31:22 AM By Stuy Parker
I am having so much fun drawing these awesome gradient bars... I tried to update today from the school library but apparently Blogger doesnt like Netscape, or the "secure" version of Netscape they use doesnt allow Javascript/DHTML or something... *sob* I need to hack those computers, get past the projection, and bring up the superior browser (Internet Explorer!) and then have a ball.
It's amazing that BenBrown is actually blocked on the Bess proxy, when EvHead, ElectricBiscuit, and others aren't... I spent my "research" time reading Hamlet and poems by John Greenleaf Whittier at (the ever unuseful) NetLibrary.
@ 5:48:09 PM By Stuy Parker
Why must horoscopes always be so fucking right... This is so not fair! They're causing me to push myself to do things I'd normally be scared shitless to do. No, I have not updated my diary.
@ 6:43:49 PM By Stuy Parker
Wow. Ev linked to me. Stuy is preatty jealous. ;) I made it up to him though by linking to eb on my main diary page.
@ 7:00:35 PM By Alli Coe
Natalie had an entry on her list, it was : Write a story using "nobody" as the name of one person, and "this guy" as another. Introduce "someone" and "anyone" later on.... Because I'm me, I just had to fufill this wish.
One day, anyone was walking down the street. A man cried out "Holy shit! Why wont anyone talk to me!?!" This didn't really puzzle anyone, because this man was friends with nobody.
Even so, this guy walked up to nobody, and seemed to be speaking to a brick wall. Someone found this rather particular, and this guy, I swear, he punched someone right in the nose!
Nobody found this particularly offensive, yet didn't do anything about. Nobody cared, though. Just you can't really do anything about anything when you're nobody.
Someone had a bloody nose, and he was baffled why nobody helped him. Nobody was trying to stick kleenex up his nose, and it really upset him.
Ta-da. I am the king of spontaneous play on words!
@ 7:20:12 PM By Stuy Parker
It's nice that you're concerned, but my grandma is nearly 90 and couldn't remember where she put her beer nuts, much less if she even ate them... Oh, and stay out of my shit if you don't find it quite as humorous as it's meant to be taken. See... Just like that sentence wasn't meant to be taken quite as snippy as it probably sounded... Funny, I just said 'snippy'... Oh, yeah.
Random Word Search : snippy : Backup Brain : Who said "snippy" on the 10th of November, 1999. Crazy.
@ 8:21:42 PM By Stuy Parker
Tuesday, May 23, 2000
I decided to once again post a public apology to Stephanie Sweitzer because I unjustly made her feel unloved... But in reality, it's elementary school immature flirting... You pick on people you secretly have major crushes on... I am, sadly, still a young soul who practices such a horrible thing. *melodramatic sigh*
@ 12:34:31 AM By Stuy Parker
I think Ariel has issues with spelling "breasts" in the heat of, uhm, feeling good about, uhm, herself... See, I try to be witty and I'm stuck with her breats on my mind. Oops! I made the same mistake as her! Tee hee hee! Oh, and Gee, it's not like anyone gets to have sex with you!
@ 12:39:46 AM By Stuy Parker
the sky happens to be blue. (when you were little, i used to smack you upside the head for no reason.)
@ 2:20:27 AM By Stuy Parker
And I quote highindustrial : "This kid, I like." You know, it's really cool when "kid" isn't used as a derogative. Boo, hiss, you know who you are. (Yes, you! Your name rhymes with Allison Smith! --- Oops!)
@ 7:00:08 AM By Stuy Parker
For those of you who don't understand the 2:20AM post... It was another bash towards Wintermute. Figured you'd all like to know that little bit of hidden ElectricBiscuit trivia... Ah, who am I kidding, you all probably got it. Wintermute's blog was kinda cool until he decided to make a turn for the assho--err--worst.
@ 7:02:39 AM By Stuy Parker
Don't get too excited, because you can't actually order it but... I have made the Official Stuyvesant Parker doll! For all you wonderous people out there. It looks a lot like me on the weekends. I swear! ...In other news, Webmonkey sucks because their "Frontdoors" suck... The last thing I like to get in my email is HTML stuff because it slows the whole process down. *cries*
@ 3:15:34 PM By Stuy Parker
I'd like to thank highindustry(heh) again because god knows linking to the same people over and over is evil evil evil. I'm sorry. Oh, and the reason for that is hits keep coming in from HI and I feel like I should send the exact same people back to him... It's like a complicated game of Link-Pong.
In other news: I don't understand people who enjoy wearing hats. I have naturally beautiful hair and to muffle my hair to hide my Huge Forehead seems like a crime against, uhm humanity... Also, I am proud to say I no longer look like Marilyn Manson without my shirt on (minus breasts), I actually look kind of good... I need to work on my abs though... Wait a mintue, why am I worry about my looks? I am so shallow!
@ 3:34:34 PM By Stuy Parker
"Leading the War Against Internet Excellence" will be the Official tag line for EB from now on... I bet you all can't get that catchy line out of your head!
@ 5:13:21 PM By Stuy Parker
I'm watching Will&Grace... I'm proud of say I actually liked this show before it was popular. Much the same with American Beauty... Who here can honestly say they remember when the film came out, and they ran out and saw it, and declared it the best movie ever made... And then watched it swiftly drop off the box office charts? And then *boom* suddenly everyone and their lover (or brother, in Angelina's case) are seeing the movie and calling it "One of the best movies ever made" even though these idiots don't even know what they're talking about.
Gah! I hate the general public! Go die!
@ 9:08:46 PM By Stuy Parker
Ahhhhh! Why must I insist on checking out pictures of Jules Asner... it's all because Biz Stone designed the site and his silly blog brought me there and now I realize how hot the E! News Daily host is and now I feel that burning feeling in my loins that screams "Got Laid?"... I swear Biz' book covers don't turn me on!
@ 9:26:00 PM By Stuy Parker
This will be a short post because I don't have much to say except that Chicken Run looks hilariously cool, and I absolutely love the Aardman style of claymation... Oh! And Mel Gibson does a voice! Rock! ... Also! I had no idea Aardman Studios did Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer video! Even cooler! I am absolutely pissing my pants right now! Yes! I am!
@ 10:03:00 PM By Stuy Parker
The first paragraph makes me cry. I love sheep. I'm just thankful it wasn't electric.
@ 11:18:35 PM By Stuy Parker
Do you know why I love the internet? Because I can say whatever I want to say, and someone, somewhere, out there, on the internet will love me for it. And then I know that someone, somewhere, out there, on the internet will say whatever they want to say and I will love them for it. Even then, I know someone, somewhere, out there, on the internet will hate me for what I have to say. And then I know that someone, somewhere, out there, on the internet will say something that will make me absolutely hate them. That is why I love the internet.
@ 11:32:06 PM By Stuy Parker
Random Word Search : bourgeois : multivolt : Looks kind of, uhm, black and white.
@ 11:44:00 PM By Stuy Parker
Monday, May 22, 2000
Hrm...I really should blog more...
*spock, have you lost your mind?* (SRC ownz you.)
@ 12:03:24 AM By Matt Sharp
I am rather turned on by the Median Strip Network if I say so myself. Thank you dlevy for enlightening me. No, really.
@ 12:52:35 AM By Stuy Parker
I honestly have to admit that this site turns me on... I've said that twice now, I sense a pattern.
@ 1:54:41 AM By Stuy Parker
Damn! She caught me! I feel so dirty suddenly... It's like being caught in "the act"... The act being wherever your assumptions are you, you sick, sick, dirty minded people. But, yes, I miss heather, too.
@ 7:02:09 AM By Stuy Parker
Oh my god! There is actually a good usage for background-repeat:no-repeat, and it was found in one of my many fervors. And now, I am very tired.
@ 3:19:57 PM By Stuy Parker
Wow, I think we can actually break that positive blogging rule and send a big FUCK YOU out to wintermute who actually, in all his coolness, has named himself after a Misery In Motion Winamp skin... Wow! What an incredibly original fellow there, I envy him and the way his blog looks like *shit*, as to not look like all the other good talented bloggers out there that he seems to so despise.
Oh, sorry, where did I go? With my luck wintermute is the name of a song or a book or something and I am incredibly unjust in calling him a rip off.
@ 3:50:59 PM By Stuy Parker
It's good to know my idea has actually spread a little... I encourage everyone who runs a blog to go search for their favorite word in the whole world, and then scroll randomly up and down the list with your eyes closed and then suddenly click (on a result) and go to that site... and then Blog it if you think it's cool (or atleast remotely interesting)...
It's an even better way to promote community because just clicking on Newly Updated blogs isn't getting all the small blogs that update not-so-often...
Here's another example :
My favorite word (animal, color) : Sheep.
Site clicked on : Kestrel's Nest ... And it's actually an interesting blog!
Enjoy, be sure to spread the word!
@ 3:55:40 PM By Stuy Parker
I don't care what this guy calls himself. But according to him, eb and a bunch of other blogs he lists are uninteresting, all "talk about the same stupid shit," and "all fucking link to each other." Uninteresting? Fine, if that is the way you feel then DON'T READ US.
The thing that I find funny is that while, yes, here at eb we do sometimes link to other blogs (hence the community), we are included in a list of people I mostly do not know or read and therefore how can we be linking back and forth to them? Just a thought.
@ 4:52:12 PM By Alli Coe
Added an About Us! page for all of you people curious about who the heck we are... Or those of you who are voyuers and have nothing better to do with your time than read About Us! pages... Or something. I am getting a Stone for sure now. Even if I have to die in the process, I will get one. Damnit.
@ 6:19:45 PM By Stuy Parker
Jish got the semi-interesting Webloggers Voicemail Directory up, it's really, uhm, nice. No, really. Also, two people emailed me about Wintermute. First, Andre of uhm, Torrez
, who even gave me the URL for the entire book (Thanks!), but the coolest by far was 
