ElectricBiscuit.com, the domain name was spewed forth by Glassdog's WhoToy on a mid-October day. I was munching on a KFC Chicken Salad, and I bit into my biscuit... The WhoToy's purpose was to generate hilariously stereotypical domains, so I chose "Electric" as one word, and as I bit into those delicious KFC Biscuits, I chose "Biscuit"... And thus ElectricBiscuit.com was forever burned into my head.

Long before that, I was running BlairWoods.com off of VirtualAve.net's slow banner ridden servers. I shouted on the page one day that it'd be really kind if someone would host me for free, on banner free fast servers... David Elkinsd over at Hurrah eMailed me and said he would. Thus, my hosting came into play. When the domain ElectricBiscuit came into play, I asked if he'd host another domain of mine. He said he would, and I was pleased.

ElectricBiscuit was launched just about November 22nd, 1999.

Originally ElectricBiscuit was going to be just a site where I could fuck around and host other peoples shit. It was that, yes, but I started really wanting to write thought provo--Oh, Blah blah blah! Who the fuck cares.

The Blogger version of ElectricBiscuit was born when I said "Fuck it" to the whole "Free intelligent hosting" company slogan and wanted to make ElectricBiscuit MINE, and The Valley (Hosted on VirtualAve, blah!) turned me onto Blogger, and thus, the ElectricBiscuit you know and love was born. Woohoo!

Why do we run ElectricBiscuit? Uhmmm... Well, let me think... Oh yeah!

Because We Can. Isn't that what the internet is all about? It's my website and I can do whatever I want with it. Oh yeah, and we want to get popular and be loved by the masses... Perhaps we'll be as cool as Glassdog, and get shirts and stickers and shit and sell them to all of our fans. Perhaps we'll even have people who abhor us! It would be so splendid! Please hate us! Please!

I wanted to win a Webby about a week ago, but then it set in that the Webby's is just a cheap shitty---Ah well, it's already been covered on numerous websites.

Well... See, around May 14th, I submitted ElectricBiscuit to be in a webring everyone affectionaly calls d.i.e. Domains for Internet Exellence, for nicely design domains that show exactly how wonderful the internet can be. AlkalineShock was/is a member, so I assumed "Hey, ElectricBiscuit must be a good canidate"... The next day I was in the ring and as happy as, well, as I usally am.

Apparently, linking to things you like, be it a review of a book with adult content in the book, or just anything that involves something they don't find is good, is against internet excellence. It seems these DIE people are against nudity (expect in forms they deem exceptable, which is art, which what I linked to was a art book, hmm.)... Well, in short... They deemed ElectricBiscuit inappropriate because it wasn't "Original" enough, because it follows the Weblog format (which Alkaline Shock follows, to a T) and doesn't have enough original content.

Oh, and it's against the rules to do anything that doesnt conform to their censorship standards. I mean, really, I thought the internet was about free speech and freedom? Apparently these DIE assholes (bitches?) don't believe in freedom and want you to think that Internet Excellence signifies only that which they believe is good and wholesome.

AKA: They're full of shit. And that is why I am against all forms of considdered "Internet Excellence" because if Excellence means the inability to say what's in your head, than the internet needs to be far from excellent.

I am Stuyvesant Parker. But that's not my real name. My real name is Brad (Root), and I live in Southern California. I'm a highschool student, mostly like every other highschool student. Except I do like to tell my life story to everyone, but I'm sure you don't mind.

I chose the name Stuyvesant Parker as a pseudonym because Brad Root doesnt sound interesting. Also, Stuyvesant Parker is the main character of Glassdog's Aspects of Reality never-ending story. It's a good name, a good character, and a good hellishly long unending story. Oh, and I like to design and do Art, everything on EB besides the hosted sites is all my work, and I don't care what God tells you.

You can always Contact Me.

Ariel Welsh isn't really Ariel Welsh. She's Alli(son), uhm, something. She runs a diary at diaryland called wunderland... I stumbled onto her diary by randomly clicking around Diaryland (when I ran a diaryland diary) and I thought she was a hellishly cute college chick, and I wanted her bad because I am a lonely and depressed little boy. *sniffle*

I Instant Messaged her and I think I did really well at first conversations, like I seem to do with everyone. (No, really.)... She didn't want to be a part of ElectricBiscuit at first, she wanted to wait until it "Picked up", but I badgered her until she agreed to join it, and she was recently quoted as saying "I"m really glad you made me join ElectricBiscuit."...

Her name is "Ariel Welsh" because it's the name of a character from Issac Asimov's Robot City (Robots and Aliens) series, which are not written by Asimov... She's the wife/girlfriend/lover of Derec Avery (David Avery)... Derec Avery was my pseudonym for about 2 years, and no one knew my real name... See, when I gave Alli the Ariel name, I still kind of wanted her and I figured it'd be a "Stick my tonuge into my cheek and eventually bite it off" kind of deal... See? I am actually a major pyschotic bitch underneath the skin.

Email her for dirty sex tips.

Ana Cohen isn't really Ana Cohen. She's Sara, uhm, something. She's a goofy blonde chick who sounds like an eight yearold (except when she's sick). I have a tendency to love her to death, because she's hellishly perfect. Except for her Hanson fetish, she's got a pretty cool Smashing Pumpkins fetish, course her love for Christian Rock knocks her back down to 0 on the music scale, or maybe even -5... Sigh.

Matt Sharp isn't really Matt Sharp. He's Alec, uhm, something. He's my "emotional twin", we're mostly exactly the same thought wise, We like the same things, have the same opinions on everything... We only disagree for the sake of disagreeing (about music)... I met him over a year ago in #EarthBound on Efnet, I was looking for an Earthbound website to host on the long-defunct RPGHeaven, and we've been friends since... I think he's cool, so he's on the EB blogger team even if he doesn't post much. Oh, and he's a pretty kick ass designer.

You can always Contact Me, er, I mean him..

Uhm, Lindsay runs Arles, and I had to beg her to be on EB's Blogger Team... And, uhm, well there's not much I can say about her, except I value her as one of my most specialist friends in the whole wide world. No, really.

Contact her for lesbian bead farming hints and tips.

I absolutely hate Disobey and especially that little bitch that runs it, Morbus. I absolutely hate him and I wish he was dead. Perhaps I will hunt him down, brutally murder him, and rape his corpse. Yum yum! Corpse rape is good for you, as long as he's still a little warm!