l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 9:43 PM.

ok, wtaer. funny thing happened today. Elder and his weirdo friend who once shouted "WE'LL THROW YOUR BODIES IN THE RIVER!!!!!!" once at me and andrew stopepd by... we talked, i said i hadnt read the book of mormon yet, but we conversed for a while at the door, and then as they started to leave he said sometrhing like, well come by if you ever need anything, and I said, "Want to do some dishes?" and he said, "Yeah, sure!" and I said, "no, seriously." "yeah seriously" so the missionaries did my dishes.

i'm starting to think religion aint that half bad if it makes sheep do tricks and shit for you out of the kindess of their heart. i mean, really, jesus has a really good flock (herd? flock?) of sheep following him around if they volunteer to do mean old nasty dishes while you rearrange your computer desk.

that one guy sure is weird though. besides, new eb will kick ass. yes! yes!.... must sleep now, see you tomorrow night if kim doesn't kick me in the face in the morning, or something...

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 5:45 AM.

Hollow threats, I know, but at least now I feel better.

l  Posted by Alfred Turner at 12:07 AM.

I read my boyfriend's diary and discovered that he'd had sexual relationships with quite a few women before we started dating. When I confronted him he said he had made up 90 percent of the incidents to boost his male ego. What do you think? -- S.A., Chicago, Illinois.

We think you should stop snooping.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 8:35 PM.

How weird is that? I should email MS and tell them, very odd.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 6:48 PM.

Second bit of shocking news. Last night I examined our margarine container that we keep in the refridgerator, and I was perplexed to find that no where on the container was the marking, "Keep Refridgerated," to help along our less talented and thoughtful members of society. I slept badly, haunted by dreams of my friend up stairs coming home with the same kind of butter and putting it on top of the fridge, instead of inside it, because it didn't say to.

Beware of unmarked butter tubs.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 11:44 AM.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 5:47 PM.

Blogger users know what I'm talking about. I wish I had the patience to switch to another service, but Blogger has been with me from the start and I wont let Ev down, just because I don't want to be responsible for removing the Last Good Site (mine) from Blogger. Ha, Ha! Egotistical prick, I am.

And, I don't care how bad I razzed Kim about this new No Doubt CD has an eerie similar quality to Vitamin C which she hates and loathes just because I find her rather attractive... The album still sucks. My supply of 80's music knowledge is enough for me to scoff. And my pure hatred of rap and hip-hop (even if some of indie rap on the Amped soundtrack isn't worth skipping) makes me dislike it even more. And then, better yet, the appearance of guests artists, who happen to be rap/reggae artists make me really dislike it.

It gives me flash backs of Blondie's No Exit performance at... wherever that was. I almost cried, it was so bad. So far the only song I've liked on this CD is Hella Good because it has a semi-enjoyable dark tone to it. And that's saying a lot because I also really loathe Gwen Stefani... just because. She's nasty. You have to agree with me. You might have a dick between your legs but you know deep down her and her voice is just disgusting in a number of ways. You know it. Come on, just tell yourself the truth.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 2:13 PM.

Slow bastards.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 8:22 PM.

I'm thankful I saw it with a good audience who found it funny, so I wasn't laughing continuously completely alone. I was disapointed with the fact that I was only responsible for prompting the audience into laughter just once. Can't remember what it was but no one laughed, and then for some reason I found it particularly funny after it laughed... like it was scripted into the movie, because there was enough time for that delayed reaction so you didn't miss anything. Good stuff.

Good movie. See it if you laugh when just watching people walk down the street. Especially if they spontaneously fall over and die for no reason. That's always funny, I think.

That reminds me. I don't remember what it was, but I think it was a advertisement for a Johnny Carson video collection, and Mel Brooks was talking about stuff, and it went something like this:

"The difference between Drama and Comedy is large, blah blah, OK. Drama is, I'm walking down the street and I slip and fall and scratch my knee. That's Drama... Now, if I slip and fall, and cut my knee, and it gets infected, and I'm in the hospital for weeks and die later on, that's comedy! I perfer comedy."

Something like that. I found it funny, and true, and it reminds me of a scene in Rushmore that I don't think was filmed. When Bill Murray goes up on the diving board, it was scripted for him the slip and fall and gash his knee on the edge of the diving board. In the script it sounded much too dark, I think, too dramatic, and I think it was inspired from that quote... Who knows.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 3:53 PM.

That is, of course, mildly disturbing to someone unexpecting.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 2:58 PM.

l  Posted by Alfred Turner at 1:39 PM.

Well, it's not if you factor in some legal and technical and personal problems, but who cares! All that matters is ... [raises finger].

I had never see City Slickers. Being too young when it came out to care, but old enough to have misconceptions about what it was about when it came on TV last night. It came on TV and I said to Kim, "OK, now, how do they get into the west? Isn't this moving like Army of Darkness or something and they accidently get sucked into the past? Like, a Kid in King Arthur's Court or whatever that was." She said, "Hahahaha.... No."

I watched all of it. I'm impressed, it wasn't mad. Early 90's movies always beg the question, "Who the hell thinks up the screen plays for these things?" But, you never get an answer. All that matters was, it was pretty good. I dug the little cow. And after seeing a REAL cow give birth, while in the process or trying to run away from us, the cow birth scene couldn't be much more disgusting. Ew.

l  Posted by Stuy Parker at 3:41 PM.