Afext: heyy
pinkmalibusunset: Hey
Afext: I'm havin' fun
pinkmalibusunset: Doin?
Afext: OH GOD
Afext: lol...
Afext: i was playin in photoshop listening to
radio
pinkmalibusunset: UmMq
Afext: but I just said oh god... cos lol
pinkmalibusunset: Jacking off?
Afext: I leaned over about to sneez
Afext: and like... I almost drooled on my pants
Afext: so right as I sneezed I closed my lips
tight and... oh god
Afext: that was the most funny thing in the
world
Afext: but disgusting
Afext: i am coated in my own sneeze spit lol
Afext: oooh god
Afext: man that was bad
Afext: my lips made this horrid farting noise and
everything ahhaha ooooh god.
Afext: nothing quite like that to make you feel
human... oh, and stupid.
pinkmalibusunset: LOL ummm
pinkmalibusunset: Wanna know something
funny?
Afext: this sucks... gavin/bush is on SNL reruns
and... makes me think of sara ;( ... augh. thats
a downer.
pinkmalibusunset: Are you gonna ask me what's
funny?
Afext: no
pinkmalibusunset: Ass
Afext: buzz off i'm feeling emotional now :-(
pinkmalibusunset: OK OK I have had a horrid
night too
Afext: my sarakins is probably sleeping right
now, probably will be for three more hours....
ah... fucking sucks, blrgh.
pinkmalibusunset: Well John is asleep now too,
and it would make the world better for me to
touch him
Afext: at least you could before
pinkmalibusunset: Yeah well he was being mean
to me tonight, shocking, eh?
pinkmalibusunset: I swear I put up with SO
much crap from that boy...
Afext: i'm sorry
Afext: its like that for everyone
pinkmalibusunset: Hey, I choose it. I love him.
pinkmalibusunset: What can I say?
pinkmalibusunset: Love is blind
Afext: and you're far too kind, don't ever let it
show...
pinkmalibusunset: Cliches are cliches for a
reason
pinkmalibusunset: Were you singing?
Afext: ("ooh la la" lyrics, heh... "I wish that I
knew what I know now, when I was younger..."
you probably know it)
pinkmalibusunset: What is it?
pinkmalibusunset: Ooh la la?
pinkmalibusunset: Ummm
Afext: it's a song.... The Faces.. rod stewart
singing...
pinkmalibusunset: I probably would if I heard it
Afext: It's a great song... you probably would
know it if you heard it... yeah.
pinkmalibusunset: God, it's so true. Love makes
you do funny things.
Afext: Classic song.... everyone can relate to it,
no one can learn from it, which is kind of the
irony... cos everyone says the same thing but
no one can do it...
Afext: love just makes you stupid, thats why
you do funny things
pinkmalibusunset: That's how I know it's real,
otherwise I would leave. That's so true, no one
can do it.
pinkmalibusunset: And you know, every single
person I talk to about this can relate.
pinkmalibusunset: Why don't we all just give
up?
Afext: love is hope, hope is a reason to keep
moving forward... life is all about moving
forward... without love there isn't life.
pinkmalibusunset: I agree.
Afext: without love we haven't really a reason
to live... not just talking about love of an
individual either, which is a common
misconception...
Afext: but also the hope of love is a moving
force...
pinkmalibusunset: God, I need him.
pinkmalibusunset: Isn't that pathetic?
Afext: no
Afext: heh
pinkmalibusunset: I feel so childish.
pinkmalibusunset: I feel like I cannot breathe
without him
Afext: i need someone who lives a week worth
of driving away.
pinkmalibusunset: We ALL need someone
Afext: imagine how hard it is for me... heh.
pinkmalibusunset: I know, it breaks my heart
pinkmalibusunset: I hate love
Afext: Right now, so do I.
pinkmalibusunset: It's so hard.
pinkmalibusunset: But nothing easy is worth
having
Afext: I hated it before I fell into it, and then I
hated it for a while while I was fallen... and
then Sara taught me how wonderful it can be
all over again... and now without Sara I hate it
some more.
pinkmalibusunset: It hurts. But it can also be
wonderful.
Afext: Nothing easy is worth having... Not true
at all. What I like to say is, "Anything worth
doing is worth doing right." which is always
true.
pinkmalibusunset: Well what is easy that's
worth it?
pinkmalibusunset: Money is hard to get, love is
hard to keep.
pinkmalibusunset: You have to work for
everything valuable.
Afext: My DSL connection and Router was very
easy to set up... deleting and reinstalling
windows this las ttime was very eays to do...
all very worth it.
pinkmalibusunset: LOL you know what I mean
Afext: falling in love is easy.
pinkmalibusunset: But keeping it is hard
Afext: You have to fall to get there and that
step is easy, and it is still worth having if you
want to keep it.
pinkmalibusunset: LOL fine fight me. Love is
hard.
Afext: Sex is easy? LOL
pinkmalibusunset: No, not the first time!
Afext: lol
pinkmalibusunset: LOL god.
pinkmalibusunset: You are making me feel
surprisingly better
pinkmalibusunset: To know that everyone hurts
Afext: AWESOME... Invect's Shoutcast stream
is playing the Supernaut Original with Trent
Reznor vocal AWWWWWWESOME!
Afext: *blasts it*
Afext: Well, you're full of shit with that easy
thing though, hun. Really.
pinkmalibusunset: Now I am downloading
"Everybody Hurts" by REM.
pinkmalibusunset: It makes me feel better.
Afext: I mean if you want to be uptight
everything is tracable back to something that is
hard but... Bleh.
pinkmalibusunset: LOL yeah only if you're anal
though
Afext: Man the beat and drive of the original
Supernaut cover is incredible
pinkmalibusunset: Hell, life is hard.
Afext: NOOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE ENDING IT
ALRIGTH!
Afext: ARRRRGH
pinkmalibusunset: LOL calm down
pinkmalibusunset: Oh god wanna hear some bad
news of mine?
pinkmalibusunset: My phone bill was $166!!!!!!
Afext: Sara's phone bill was like.. $240 :|
Afext: So she can't call me anymore... well,
often *frowns*
pinkmalibusunset: LOL yeah well I called John
(at my house, he was sitting here) and I called
him collect and shit
pinkmalibusunset: Oh I was in Monterey
pinkmalibusunset: LOL
pinkmalibusunset: Make sense?
Afext: lol
pinkmalibusunset: I am a retard...it's late
Afext: you stupid fool :P
pinkmalibusunset: Wanna know something?
pinkmalibusunset: You're gonna think I am an
idiot, but it's true.
Afext: Ok...
pinkmalibusunset: You and Sara are so lucky.
Long distance means no fighting, no taking for
granted, and when you do see each other it will
mean SO much more.
pinkmalibusunset: And that is the
honest-to-goddess truth
Afext: we can fight, we take eachother for
granted..
pinkmalibusunset: DO you fight?
Afext: i mean, me and sara dont fight much at
all, which is so strange for a relationship of mine
pinkmalibusunset: I am such a bullheaded
fighter
pinkmalibusunset: I start arguments constantly
Afext: me and shan, as much as our love is
undying and bleh bleh... we were explosive...
we would fucking tear eachother apart in fights
and shit, horrid.
pinkmalibusunset: Shan?
Afext: shan is an ex
pinkmalibusunset: Oooh I see
Afext: canadian chick,... long distance like me
and sara (not so bad though)
Afext: anyway... i am too... i do too... but sara
just... i dunno, she just like, thumps me in the
forehead or sumthing and tells me to stop and
I'm like "ok" and I dont give a shit... i love her, i
dont wanna fight with her... no reason to fight
with her, either...
Afext: i can be a jerk sometimes but she just
shrugs it off because she knows who I am and
knows how I am
pinkmalibusunset: God you're such a dream guy!
LOL
Afext: if I go off on a tangent she just listens
and changes the subject as soon as I stop
without any comment and... ah, it doesnt
matter to me because i know she listened and
doesnt have anything to say in reply
pinkmalibusunset: Yeah but that's just the
thing. Even though I KNOW that's just how
John gets, and it's happened
23837482342876507238567531-6561346135673
165136=58163=5157567 times and is always
better the next day, I still get soooo upset.
pinkmalibusunset: And I can never convince
myself it will turn out like it always does
Afext: i've never had a relationship, online or in
real life where fighting was not a constant
happening which would eventually lead to our
break up...
Afext: except with Sara.
pinkmalibusunset: Well you're damned lucky
then
pinkmalibusunset: Because all mine have ended
in explosive fights
pinkmalibusunset: I am a fighter.
Afext: Sara is something entirely different and I
don't know why. I've never been so
non-confrontational with someone in my fucking
life... it's like even when I am in the foulest of
foul moods, and god knows I can get into some
pretty fucking pissy horrible moods... I start
something with sara, and unless she's PMSing
too (heh), she's just cool with it and I realize
I'm being a dick because she's so nice in return
and I try to keep quiet to avoid being a cock
for no reason...
pinkmalibusunset: That's cute
pinkmalibusunset: LOL
Afext: I dunno
pinkmalibusunset: You dunno what?
Afext: I've never found someone else I am as
non-conflict with as Sara... Don't know how we
are so... compatible but we are...
pinkmalibusunset: It's called fate
Afext: fate stopped being a factor in my love
with the internet... i dont think the internet
factors into fate.
pinkmalibusunset: No it doesn't, it ups the
chances of finding that special person
Afext: the internet accelerates the speed that
soulmates are drawn to eachother, which fucks
the shit out of me.
pinkmalibusunset: The internet allows you to
meet people you may never have met
otherwise.
Afext: we can meet our soulmates at times
when distance was meant to keep us apart
for... you know, development purposes... it's
fucked me up pretty badly, i'll be honest...
pretty badly is an understatement
pinkmalibusunset: I see what you mean.
Afext: it sucks trying to block out the fact that
you've already met your soulmate and you guys
hate eachother after a few hours everytime you
try again currently.
pinkmalibusunset: Who might that be?
Afext: but I am doubting the fact that that
person really is my soul mate even if everything
tells me she is...
Afext: no one worth discussing
pinkmalibusunset: LOL have I heard the name
before?
Afext: we hate eachother as much as we love
eachother, sometimes the scales are tipped but
... eh.
Afext: who knows?
pinkmalibusunset: It's not Sara?
pinkmalibusunset: Umm that Natasha or
whatever?
Afext: nope this chick is definately not sara...
but who knows
Afext: i could be wrong, and i probably am
pinkmalibusunset: What do you mean?
Afext: i should take the smart route and believe
in all honesty that sara is my soulmate...
Afext: i pray that she really is and I am starting
to believe it because... fuck, why would we not
be?
pinkmalibusunset: I want John to be mine so
bad
pinkmalibusunset: And he always told me we
were
pinkmalibusunset: So maybe all this pain is a
test
Afext: thinking like that will put you in my
position so don't bother
pinkmalibusunset: What position may that be?
Afext: soulmate being someone you hate after
you love them so strongly for about 2 mintues
pinkmalibusunset: No, I love him to death
pinkmalibusunset: We've been through a lot
these past 9 months
Afext: wouldnt call it a test
pinkmalibusunset: What then
Afext: I dunno. Maybe it is a test.
pinkmalibusunset: That's what I truly believe.
pinkmalibusunset: Oh song is done, must go to
bed, eyes drooping...goodnight.
Afext: I don't ever think anything is as complex
as it seems... Like Sara and I... Our test is the
distance, our ability to cope and survive the
inability to connect physically like others can...
Nothing else. Fighting for us is not a test, if it
was we've overcome it long ago... Temptation
for real life sources... Not a test.
Afext: The only thing that is a test is our ability
to keep our trust in eachother... and I think I
am the only one faultering a bit.
pinkmalibusunset signed off at 4:27:27 AM.
Afext: Good night to you, too, dearheart.
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