Afext: hey there
Vevina 2: hi hi
Afext: I should clean... been meaning to
clean since last summer
Vevina 2: wow..that's a long time
Vevina 2: btw, like the verve cam idea
Afext: well, I did clean finally but it got dirty
seconds later
Afext: well thankies... I'm too ugly for a
BradCam
Vevina 2: o, sounds familiar
Vevina 2: aww
Afext: so I decided to use my $150 on verve
Afext: heh
Vevina 2: modesty is of little use
Vevina 2: hehe
Afext: Okay, I'm too sexy to make movies of
me stripping using it, the camera would
overheat and die before I even got my shirt
off... alright? :P
Vevina 2: that's the ticket
Afext: yup.
Vevina 2: *yawn* *stretch*
Afext: I'm taking on too many projects
Afext: I should just finish the Diastole site,
get paid, then auction off that ram for a
good sum of money
Vevina 2: like cleaning?
Afext: and then settle on the PE/PE2 site
project
Vevina 2: si si
Afext: and then if that takes off, go for the
EB Movie review site
Vevina 2: y gnot just do what you think you
should do then?
Afext: cos I think I should just sit here and
do nothing
Vevina 2: hehe
Vevina 2: no shit! story of my life
Afext: I'll give you $20 if you can name the
song that the lyrics in italics on
http://www.electricbiscuit.com are from
Vevina 2: i read that, it's eleanor rigby by the
beatles..damn good song..it's on the Revolver cd
=)
Afext: Daaamn you're good :P
Vevina 2: hehe
Afext: It's the third song on Yellow
Submarine (movie/Songtrack)
Afext: I'll give you the 20 I stole from the
druggie chick
Vevina 2: scwheet..unless the druggie chick
needs it real bad
Afext: the song doesn't fit with what I
wrote, I don't think, at all... except---she's
not a major druggie, so it's alright---except
the girl I met sister loves the beatles to no
end and I've never seen yellow submarine so
she showed it and I heard that song, I was
trying to fall asleep and went "those are
fucking awesome lyrics"
Afext: It's amazing that a girl who looks so
much like wionna ryder and is like, 2 years
younger than me, can be so in love with the
beatles... she thinks paul is the cutest
though *gag choke puke*
Afext: I went "John is cuter... hell, George is
cuter too, even if his name sucks..."
Vevina 2: i prefer john personally
Afext: I went to this church thing at Matt's
church a while back, it sucked, we ran out
and left but came back 30 mintues later
when we got bored... this guy came up to
me, one of the older guys, and shook my
hand and said I looked a lot like john lennon
Vevina 2: must be the glasses
Afext: I was like "uh... wow, that's.. cool,
thanks a lot... I get "You look exactly like
Brian Warner, ya know, marilyn manson in
highschool..." a lot, and it sucks.. john
lennon rules."
Vevina 2: i wouldn't know..only seen your
glasses and big forehead =)
Afext: leave my forehead alone, Jay Leno
Chin girl! :P
Vevina 2: When I was freshman and was fat
with braces and was damn ugly, some kid said to
me at the Mushroomhead concert that I looked
like Jenny Mcarthy..i was like..dude are you
stoned?
Vevina 2: well junior loves my chin so nyah =P
Afext: Nyah. alright.
Afext: I'm feeling bad
Afext: I've got emotional confliction problems
that I know are based on NOTHING AT ALL
Afext: and I can't manage to extingish them
from my mind even though I know they are
baseless
Vevina 2: we must be cosmically connected, i've
got the same problem
Afext: I can keep myself from doing stupid
things... barely...
Afext: And it's all based around last night
Afext: Which was the best time I've ever had
in my life, but that wasnt even including my
problem
Vevina 2: continue?
Afext: Ehhh well I don't know if I want to... I
guess I will
Afext: Okay, well, lets see, 4th and 5th
grade, I lost like, my only friend I had, and I
introduced myself to this group of kids who
played a tag type game
Afext: Hayley, Erica(ick), Angelica (icker),
and J.P...
Afext: And, for two straight years, we played
this tag game... and me and hayley slowly
developed the typical elementary school
little flirtatous flirt thing
Afext: but we were never a definative
*THING* mostly because we were both
always under careful prosecution by
everyone... me, mostly getting my ass
busted because I was a lameass, and her
being artsy fartsy when I hated reading with
a passion, her getting arts awards and shit
Afext: sooo... anyway
Afext: Last day of 5th grade, gonna go to
diff middle schools, I piss her off, can't
remember how
Afext: And watching her walk off angry at
me is the last I ever saw of her
Afext: Crushing my 10 yearold heart, what
there was of it
Afext: Considdering I didn't know what
depression was at that point, that was
pretty much as crushed as I could be, like
stubbing my toe
Vevina 2: that's very sad
Afext: Never saw any of my former group
ever again
Afext: Well
Afext: Eric
Afext: Erica
Afext: but erica was a very poor girl, in just
about everyway
Afext: There are things I can assume and
know for sure that's how it was, but I don't
know for sure and don't want to just
because... She and her older sister got sent
away like, 2 years ago to foster familys...
prolly cos their dad is a nut...
Afext: so anyway
Afext: Cut to first week of my freshman year
Afext: J.P. is older, and not that much
different, I am an entirely different person
and he probably knew who I was because
greg told me
Afext: He comes up to me and we talk and
he's still the ghey lameass and I still make
fun of him, and it's all good
Afext: And then he mentions something
about hayley
Afext: and I'm like "Oh... uhm, wow, yeah,
hayley... what happened to her?"
Afext: "Her mom is a fulltime teacher now,
and they moved near the highschool 15
mintues across whittier"
Afext: "I'll have her call you sometime"
Afext: she never did, heh, figured no big deal
Afext: okay, so, cut to now
Afext: J.P. calls me up
Afext: in the middle of dinner
Afext: with Timothy(sp), hayley's younger
sister, who sounds like like Hayley did on the
phone 3 years ago... J.P. asks me if I want
to go to a surprise birthday party (lame) for
hayley on saturday
Afext: I said "uhm, sure"
Afext: deal done
Afext: jump to friday
Afext: (yesterday)
Afext: I finally go to school
Afext: and J.P. goes "The party's been
moved today at 5pm"
Afext: me, not having a life, say, "alright,
cool."
Afext: so, I go home from school, take a
shower, get as dressed up as I can (My nice
L2 jeans, my white NIN t-shirt, and my green
jacket, and I mess with my hair a bit)
Afext: J.P. calls
Afext: "Everything's been cancled"
Afext: and I go "So I took a shower for
nothing, alright"
Afext: "Yeah but tim still wants me to go
over.."
Afext: "ooo oo, can I go too?"
Afext: "well, let me call tim on threeway"
Afext: so he calls tim, and tim hangs up and
calls her mom, and it's cool
Afext: so.... 6:00pm comes around, and I'm
off
Afext: For an hour, we try to find the house
Afext: we blow 70 cents on payphones
because tim can't give me fucking decent
directions
Afext: 7:16pm I finally get there
Afext: Tim changed. A lot, she was a little
happy peppy girl
Afext: and now, well...
Afext: She's a dead ringer for Wionna Ryder
in Girl Interuppted
Afext: I can't say she's not attractive, she
is, quite, but I'd never even think of
anything physical, because, well, fuck, she's
like, 12-13, and she's like... half my height...
Afext: so anyway
Afext: I stressed over this so much
Afext: 3 years is a long time
Afext: so... I was scared
Afext: but I got loose fast
Afext: "wow, you look different" i say
Afext: "You look very different"
Afext: "Yeah, I know, I am very different"
Afext: I go in and sit down...
Afext: She walks in and out, seems like she's
nervous or unsure that I'm not going to kill
her
Afext: J.P. shows up 10 mintues later
Afext: We chat a bit
Afext: Tim/Hayley's mom comes up
Afext: er
Afext: in
Afext: "You know that Hayley isn't going to
be here until 10pm? Tim told you guys,
right?"
Afext: My eyes dart to Tim quickly and she
looks up at me and smirks
Afext: and I go
Afext: "Oh yeah, of course" really cooly and
slickly, oh yeah.
Afext: and mom backs out and closes the
door
Afext: and I fall on the floor like a sack full of
air
Afext: and I look at tim, and mutter
something to the lines of "oh yeah, you told
me, alright..." and flip her off
Afext: she makes fun of my flip off style
Afext: anyway
Afext: cut to later
Afext: me and jp and her are in thier
IMMENSE farmland type backyard, scaring
the SHIT out of eachother in the barn and in
bushes and shit
Afext: I AM A KID AGAIN! YES! I AM HAVING
FUN! I haven't had FUN in THREE YEARS... i
am young again.
Afext: We run out, go by this church and
have some more kid type crazy fun
Afext: we go back inside
Afext: me, discovering that my body doesnt
think I'm still a kid, falls limply on the couch
thing
Afext: I discover Tim's obsession with the
beatles
Afext: and ask her if she has any beatles to
play, and she thinks I mean video and I think
I mean audio
Afext: and she says "video? sure..."
Afext: and I said "yellow submarine? never
seen that"
Afext: and I lay down and get cozy and she
puts it on
Afext: I trying to get comfortable which is
hard to do and close my eyes and wrap my
arms around my head
Afext: Eleanor Rigby plays and J.P. says "turn
it off" and tim says "Why?" and J.P. says
"he's alseep" "so?" "well, lets go in your room
then.."
Afext: and there's sounds and they're gone
Afext: and I turn over
Afext: and doze in and out of what coulda
been sleep but seemed like I was always
awake because I was so uncomfortable
Afext: tim opens the door and goes "brad!
wakeup, they're here" "can't I just sleep?"
"they'll be freaked out if some weird guy is
laying her with a pillow on his head" "I'm not
weird, I'm completely normal... no, really."
"just do it! look like you weren't sleeping!"
Afext: she jumps in the chair next to my
head and j.p. scuttles in and sits down and I
kinda slouch myself in the couch and try to
look awake
Afext: and Chelsea comes in and bitches out
tim for locking everything up
Afext: and I wave to chelsea who obviously
doesnt know who the FUCK I am and looks
at me like I'm a junkie homeless guy on the
street
Afext: and she walks out
Afext: and hayley walks in and stops in the
door way, looking exactly the same, if a lil
older, then she did in 5th grade... where as I
am completely diffferent, she is the same...
and I go "hey... uhm, yeah, i was sleeping"
and she looks at me strangely, but keeps her
cool, and bitches tim out for locking
everything up
Afext: and goes "I'm gonna go change" and
walks out
Afext: Tim turns to me and goes "she didn't
recongize you! want me to go tell her?", I go
"sure" and J.P. says "no, don't!" and I go
"yeah yeah, it's all in presentation, go!"
Afext: and she goes
Afext: and comes back in
Afext: and goes "She knew.. she said she's
not stupid"
Afext: hayley comes back in and sits down
Afext: we fiddle with the tv
Afext: me and hayley not even exchanging
glances
Afext: her smiling cooly at J.P. though, and I
look at J.P. and do my signature pot-head
laugh and he laughs and goes "she's smiling
about you" which might seem odd but it was
fitting
Afext: hayley gets up and finds a polaroid
from a b-day party she had 5th grade that I
went to
Afext: and I'm in the pic... and, j.p.
comments on something, and I go "oh,
lemme see"
Afext: and I look
Afext: and go "heheheh... i look so different
now..."
Afext: and hand it back
Afext: I try to exchange a joke to hayley but
it seems to be lost in the folds of
conversation
Afext: My dad rings
Afext: he's pissed, it's 10:15
Afext: my mom said before midnight
Afext: he claims she said to call at 10
Afext: and I say "no.."
Afext: and he goes well I want to go to bed
Afext: and I go "fine just a second"
Afext: J.P. was spending the night so I ran in
and early hayley's mom said I couldn't, so I
ran in and asked if they could beg her and
they said she's asleep
Afext: so I went back in and told my dad fine
pick me up
Afext: the entire 'beg your mom' situation
was extremely picturesq
Afext: I mean, if you could draw a painting
and contain all the emotion in that little 5
mintue period of time, it would be the most
beautiful peice of art in the world
Afext: just everything came together so well
at that moment...
Afext: hayley looking at me worridly, tim
looking back and forth at j.p. with her normal
look, and J.P. looking at tim
Afext: and me... with blurry tired eyes trying
to focus on something and make a point
Afext: it was amazing...
Afext: so, anyway...
Afext: i sit down and say my dad'll be here to
bitch me out in 15 mintues
Afext: and I can't think of anything
Afext: earlier when j.p. first got their I did a
run down of my life where I ran through my
depression and everything
Afext: and tim leaned to me and went "you'd
admit to being pyshcotic, right?" and I went
"uh, why?" "you would, right?" "sure.."
Afext: she turns to hayley and goes "Hey, he
was pyshcotic, like richard" and hayley goes
"Tsch. whatever." weirdly... richard being
their mom's ex-boyfriend
Afext: don't know the true signifcance
Afext: eventually my dad/mom shows up
Afext: I open the door slightly, and say
bye... and Tim says by, hayley says by, and
j.p says bye...
Afext: and I walk towards the car to get in
and I turn back and hayley is hiding weirdly
behind the door and looks at me worridly
again and says bye and I wave slightly and
turn and smile and open the door and get in,
and drive off... not looking back either...
Afext: and now... the entire situation
Afext: is like...
Afext: can me and hayley actually capture
what we had before, us being more mature
now and actually being able to handle it?
and what the FUCK do I do? I love sara, so
much, but she's a fucking continent away,
and I have so many amazingly cool
memories, what good memories I have, of
hayley, and I can't forget all that and...
Afext: I know that I'm basing this on the
past
Afext: and I know it's a thread I'm hanging
on to
Afext: and every decision I've made on a
thread has been a wrong one and has been
horridble
Afext: but I can't not think...
Afext: that maybe, goddamn, this is *fate*
Vevina 2: you and i both have a history of
leaving our onilne mates for reallife ones..so you
know what i have to say about it..
Afext: yeah I guess I do
Afext: but I don't know
Afext: Me and Sara, sure, we have
something that could easily fall apart in real
life with one meeting
Afext: and me and hayley know what we
were like... err, let me correct that
Afext: Hayley liked who I was
Afext: Hayley is the same mostly
Afext: I am completely different
Vevina 2: how sure are you that hayley is the
same?
Afext: Because from everything J.P. has told
me and how she acted for the 38 mintues
we were in the same room, she is the same
Afext: she likes to read, the writes a lot
Vevina 2: ahh
Vevina 2: invite her to EB?
Afext: They've never had a computer
Afext: But, yeah, exactly
Afext: I was thinking that
Vevina 2: interesting
Afext: I'll talk to her about it at her party
next saturday
Vevina 2: she doesn't go to your school?
Afext: No... she goes to a diff highschool
Afext: which isn't bad
Afext: it's not in fucking florida
Afext: *sighs*
Vevina 2: =)
Afext: and she's my age, if about a month
older, she's not 3/4 years older than me..
eeegad WHAT THE FUCK
Afext: Nooo
Afext: I do not
Afext: Want to
Afext: Break poor sara in two
Vevina 2: you're letting your true feelings come
out here..maybe you love sara because you're
used to her company
Afext: If I didn't have such a guilty
consious(err) I'd try to keep it on with sara
and go with hayley, but I'm not that horrible
Vevina 2: or maybe i'm completely wrong
Afext: but either way
Vevina 2: oh don't do that..i did that to nick..that
still haunts me
Afext: This is all "what if"
Vevina 2: si
Afext: This could all smack me in the back of
the neck and kill me
Afext: Hayley could hate me, but I doubt it
Afext: from everything J.P. said, it seemed
like hayley still knows her past feelings for
me and maybe hopes to rekindle them (god,
rekindle is so fucking lame... as a word and
as a meaning)
Vevina 2: mm hmm
Vevina 2: maybe you should just have a
conversation with sara
Afext: I don't know what to do
Afext: I tried that onc
Vevina 2: i assume she reads the fucking website
Afext: lol
Afext: Yes
Afext: but the website means nothing
Afext: And I refuse to explain anything to her
Vevina 2: mkay
Vevina 2: well
Vevina 2: upon remembering that i am a human
being again
Vevina 2: and no longer vampiric
Vevina 2: and i worked all day
Afext: because last time I tried to let loose
on her with something with implications
simular to this, she snapped and went totally
bezerk.. well, as bezerk as she can be..
which is swearing at me a lot
Afext: aww
Vevina 2: and am tired from s*x
Afext: you're leaving me.. damn
Vevina 2: i must sleep
Afext: I should sign up for a 3 hour VH1
Story Tellers session
Vevina 2: you can email me the rest
Afext: except like, I play other people's
songs
Vevina 2: haha..you'd need longer than that
Afext: I don't write emails like this :P
Vevina 2: i know you dont
Vevina 2: but i thought id offer
Vevina 2: because i actually care
Afext: thats cool
Vevina 2: although i'm not sure why =)
Vevina 2: but yeah, i'm like dead now
Afext: I'm pretty dead too, and it's only
11:30
Vevina 2: this all happened tonight though?
Afext: nope, last night
Vevina 2: oooh
Vevina 2: well alright, anyway, i must drift off to
dream now
Afext: night night